


Off The Track

by blowmeharry



Category: One Direction
Genre: Adventure, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Drugs, F/F, F/M, Fun, M/M, Partying, Roadtrip, Short, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-27
Packaged: 2017-11-24 04:16:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 41,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blowmeharry/pseuds/blowmeharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry didn’t expect his graduation to end with a road trip, and he certainly didn’t expect to reunite with his old crush.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One - Part A

It’s a sunny afternoon and Harry’s adjusting his shirt, bringing the hem to hang over his washed-out jeans. He looks ahead as he makes his way into the parking lot, waving at his classmates in the process. He’s focusing his attention on the dark-haired lad who’s got a joyful look to his face and is rushing to get to him.

“Hey,” Zayn finally says, bobbing his head to the sky as his gesture. His attention goes down to Harry’s lower body which stirs his expression.

“What? Is there a stain?” He questions, still looking for the problem.

“Yeah, cum stains, keep it in your pants,” Zayn says with a laugh, then shakes his head.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Twat.”

“Your socks don’t match,” he points out, raising an eyebrow as if it was a crime for Harry to be even a little tense on this particular day. “Quit with the drama queen act, you look fine. Better than fine, even. Have you been working out or something?”

“Hah,” Harry snorts. Zayn knows better than him that he lacks the time and motivation to even lift a finger, let alone weights. “Have you heard from Liam or has he already left?”

“He’s going to his mum’s to celebrate while I’m going on a road trip.” Zayn grins, his face lighting up almost instantly.

Harry leans his arm against the car beside them which he finds wasn’t the best idea once the alarm went off. “Shit,” he whispers as the two of them swallow their laughs. They walk to the other side of the pavement as to get away from the noise.

Harry wipes the smirk off his face once he notices the group of people gathered around the obnoxious car which is still managing to create a lot of racket. He shakes his head and turns back to Zayn who’s trying to hide his amusement as well.

“What’s this about Liam now?”

“He’s going to his mum’s,” Zayn repeats himself, nodding. “What’re you doing?”

Harry shrugs. “Figure I’d just head home and rest. I mean, there’s nothing else to do.”

“You’ve got the whole summer for that!” the other male whines, slapping Harry’s arm. “Why don’t you join us?”

“Us?”

Zayn opens his mouth to talk, but he doesn’t have the chance to speak with a horn blaring loudly, what looked to be a rundown Toyota pulling up beside them.

Harry just stares, but Zayn casually opens the passenger door.

“Finally,” he says with a sigh. “I thought you left without me.”

“Well, don’t start crying again,” a soft, silky voice says in response.

Zayn steps in, buckling himself in the second he’s seated properly. “For God’s sake, I wasn’t –”

“Yeah, yeah…” he trails off. Zayn leans back in his chair, allowing Harry to see the guy at the wheel. It’s somewhat difficult to recognise him with the Aviators covering his eyes, but the fringe kind of gives it away. A smile tugs at Harry’s lips, which is mostly his way of trying to go along with Zayn and be nice.

Louis pulls down his sunglasses to the end of his nose. “Well, c’mon, get in!”

“Me?” Harry points to himself. He turns around to see if Louis was talking to someone else and suddenly feels he’s only embarrassed himself by even saying anything at all.

“No, those tossers trying to get that damn alarm to stop. Yes, _you._ ”

Harry chuckles but stuffs his hands into his pockets nervously. “Are you sure? I mean – what’s the plan?”

Zayn answers him this time. “I told you, a road trip.”

“Yes, but where are we going?”

“Who knows, who cares?” he mutters with a slight chuckle, then he says to Louis, “Sorry he asks a lot of questions.”

Louis waves his hand around carelessly. “Oh no, it’s fine. We can’t just drag him against his will. He has a right to know.”

“Yeah,” Harry sets a hand on his hip, trying to get on with Louis since it’s always been his instinct to do whatever it took to fit in.

“So, you coming?”

“I… erm…” He scratches his neck, staring at the sky and then back at the two boys. “I can’t just leave, I – my mum will wonder where I am.” His face flushes, and he swears he can see Louis grinning at him. He wonders what’s keeping him from laughing with Zayn.

“I guess I could call her, and-” He’s still blushing and Zayn won’t stop laughing and Harry just wants to get out of here. He regrets saying anything in the first place because it’s bad enough Zayn’s shaming him for it, but now even Louis sees him as a momma’s boy, and that’s not really a good first impression.

Something strange comes over him, and now he feels compelled to let out a deep breath before settling himself inside the vehicle. It’s a hasty decision and maybe he’ll regret it later, but he can’t be bothered to care now.

“Alright,” he says in a low voice, slamming the door shut. It takes him a second to settle in his seat with all the crap lying below the seats. It’s mostly trash and dirty clothes (and possibly a used condom, but he can’t be bothered to check), so Harry just sets his feet over it, wondering when Louis last cleaned his car. There’s a bag to his right with a blanket rolled over it. He pushes it to the side, or at least far enough that he can get his seatbelt on.

“I can’t believe it. We graduated not even an hour ago and you already have a lovebite,” Louis complains, shaking his head. He turns around to see his rear (of his vehicle, although Harry has yet to evaluate _his_ ), and Harry thinks he catches his eye somewhere in the process, but the damn Aviators are blocking them.

“For your information, I’ve had this one for a week,” Zayn defends himself, then smirks. “It’s okay to be jealous, I know _I’ll_ get laid this summer.”

“Well, don’t look at me.”

“Oh, please. I can _feel_ the sexual tension.”

“Sod off,” Louis says with a scoff, his hand reaching over to flip on the radio. All at once there’s loud 80s music blasting loudly. It catches Harry off guard at first, but he adjusts quickly and finds it rather enjoyable though it’s not exactly his preferred area.

Harry’s not really tuned in their conversation, instead getting lost in his thoughts. He’s not really sure why he’s here or why he decided to come along, but he figures it’s too late to back out now. He thinks about how annoyingly long the day has been and how he wishes he could sleep it off. With all the university offers thrown at him, he’s about ready to dive off a cliff. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, but there’s nothing wrong with some melodrama here and there, right?

“Is he always this quiet?” Louis asks after making the sharpest turn, which causes Harry to jump in his seat and groan. _Why is he driving?_

He begins to wonder why Louis’ here anyway when Harry’s only known him as “that kid in his class.” He’s got nothing against him, don’t think he does. Harry’s just never spoken to him, and he tends to be a little overenthusiastic and annoying, or at least he acted that way in class.

Zayn could have at least mentioned that _he_ was coming along, but knowing Zayn, Harry’s lucky he was standing at the wrong place at the wrong time. It could be worse, he supposes. He could be at home helping his mum prepare dinner, feeling even lousier than usual.

“He is at first, but once he opens up, you’ll wish he hadn’t,” Zayn responds.

Harry can’t stand to be laughed at anymore so he moves forward, leaning his elbows against the tops of the seats. When he gets the chance, he takes it upon himself to flick Zayn’s forehead which is his way of telling him to fuck off.

“That wasn’t very nice.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not being very nice either,” Harry remarks, observing as Louis begins giggling. Harry expects him to say something to him let alone acknowledge him or ask him something person to even get to him the slightest but finds that’s only wishful thinking.

“I’m gonna stop here really fast.” He’s referring to the supermarket they’re parked outside of. “Need anything?”

“Water,” Harry responds, wondering when his mouth had become so dry.

“Beer,” Zayn says with a smirk which Louis pretends to laugh at.

“Alright, try not to kill each other. Or rather, have the decency to hide a body if you can’t help it.”

Harry can’t stop himself from smiling at that, and he’s positive Zayn’s taken note.

“How’re you holding up?” Zayn asks him, but Harry can’t really take him seriously at this point.

“I have to pee,” Harry says with a sly smile as if that’s the wittiest response he could concoct. “But really, I’ll be back.”

“You just want to spend time with him, don’t you?” And, mark it here in your books boys and girls, this is when the teasing begins.

Harry drops into a blank expression. He just shakes his head and pulls the door open, ready to slam it dramatically, but Zayn’s hand gets in the way.

“Buy some sunblock while you’re at it!”

Harry nods his head and smiles without responding, just to be a little shit. He makes it inside the building with his bladder about to explode. He’s about to head to the toilet, but a voice calls out, “Harry!”

Louis makes his way over to him, holding a bottle of shampoo in each hand. “You don’t have dandruff, do you?”

Harry frowns, wanting to laugh, but something has him running his hands through his hair to confirm he’s fine and that Louis is just messing with him.

“Better go with the volume, you’re getting flat, mate.”

“The windows were open and my hair was flying everywhere!” Harry protests, though he’s really not sure why he bothers.

“And it looks wonderful, really. More like you just finished a quickie, to be honest, but wonderful nonetheless.”

Harry decides to smile, pathetically, he might add. “Thanks.”

“Yeah.” Louis pats him twice on the shoulder before brushing past him to head into another aisle. Harry decides to follow since it’d be rude to just leave, even though he really needed to _go._

“So why’d you come?”

Harry points to where they’re parked outside. “I – Zayn wanted me to get sunblock. I’m not entirely sure of his reasoning behind it, but…”

“No, I mean, what made you change your mind? You don’t really look like you’re up for travelling right now.”

“Oh.” Harry shrugs because he’s not entirely sure himself. “I guess I decided why not?” It was a dumb thing to say, but Harry’s feeling awkward and doesn’t really know what else to say without making a _complete_ fool of himself.

“Well, let me just apologize for, well, myself. Let me know if I get too loud or annoying, I tend to have that effect on people,” Louis says, the side of his lip creeping upward.

Harry can’t exactly find it himself _not_ to smile back, so he gives in. “It’s not really you I’m worried about.”

Louis nods. “Zayn.”

Harry begins scratching the back of his neck, nervous and unsure of how to carry on this conversation. His attention wavers to the other side of the store which leads him to point in that direction. “I actually came in to use the toilet, so… yeah. Don’t leave me behind or anything.” He laughs awkwardly, and Louis mutters something unintelligible under his breath which Harry pretends he doesn’t hear.

Harry takes a piss, spending about a minute looking himself over in the mirror. He thinks, _Is my hair really that flat?_

He returns to the car, tapping on the window to get their attention. He sees Zayn smirk behind the tinted windows and hears the doors unlock.

“Told you I wouldn’t leave you,” Louis says in a sappy voice.

Zayn raises an eyebrow. “Making promises already? That’s cute.”

Harry shakes his head, dropping himself in the back seat. He’s still wondering where they’re off to next, but it’s clear he’s not getting an answer. He feels more comfortable around the two of them, or at least comfortable to reach over to turn on the radio and switch it to a different station. When the music begins playing, his heart almost stops.

“I love the XX!” Louis exclaims and Harry smiles brightly, wanting to share his favorite songs with him and, more importantly, apologize to him for misjudging him because Louis hasn’t been _terrible_ so far. His music taste is great, at the very least.

“Looks like majority rules in favor of the hipster music,” Zayn says with a sigh, leaning his arm against the edge of the open window.

“Oh, shut it. We’ll get to your bubblegum pop garbage eventually. ‘S gonna be a long ride.”

Harry perks up. “Just how long exactly?”

“I was thinking we head down to Camber Sands, so should be about an hour and a half.”

Harry groans but settles in his seat. He decides he might as well rest seeing as there isn’t really anything interesting to discuss with either of these guys. He’s never been close to Zayn, in fact, they only spoke on certain occasions, and Harry never speaks to Louis so all of this is a bit disconcerting to him, but he can deal.

“Can we get food first? I’m fucking starving,” Zayn whines, fishing his phone out of his pocket.

“Yeah, good idea.” Louis keeps his eyes on the road for the most part but glances over to look at Zayn every few seconds that he’s simply made it obvious he’s trying to look at his iPhone screen. “And just who are you texting at this time of day?”

“It’s two o’clock, you twat.”

“Whatever.” Louis focuses his attention back ahead but continues to speak. “So Harry… Tell me about yourself, yeah?”

“What? I –” Harry’s so caught off guard that his face is flushing red, and he feels like he’s under so much pressure that he doesn’t know how to reply. “I mean – what do you wanna know?”

Louis makes a small sound of uncertainty as if it’s more difficult for him than Harry. “Um, I guess… Were you part of any school activities?”

“Not really, no. Well, I had a band like a year ago, but I don’t think that counts.” And the embarrassment only continues, but that shouldn’t stop him from learning about Louis. “What about you?”

“A band, huh? That’s impressive. I was in theatre, got a few lead roles, and did debate for a year.”

So Louis’ into drama _and_ arguing? Somehow Harry’s not surprised. At the same time he’s a little self-conscious that Louis has done so much while Harry’s done zilch.

“White Eskimo, right?”

“What?” Harry jolts in his seat because he didn’t expect to hear that.

“That was your band name, right?”

“Well _yeah,_ but how did you know that?”

Louis takes longer to respond this time, though Harry’s not sure why. “I might have gone to one of your gigs. The name rings a bell, I don’t even know how I remember it… You guys were good, now _that_ I can remember.”

“Nah, we sucked,” Harry admits with a low laugh. “I’m sure Zayn agrees too – and anyone in their right mind.”

“Are you suggesting I’m stupid, Styles?”

Harry’s laughs come to an end, and he’s actually afraid that he’s offended Louis, not that it’s really _much,_ so he tries to reassure him, “No, of course not. I just – ”

“You need to calm, mate,” Zayn butts in, turning to grimace at him. “Louis doesn’t take anything seriously.”

“Doesn’t give a reason to be rude,” Harry points out with a shrug which creates some awkward tension. He’s not sure why he’s mad at Zayn, but it might have something to do with his teasing and all-out obnoxious attitude today. And to think it’s only been an hour.

“Please tell you’re not going to fight the whole time,” Louis says with a groan. “I’ve had it up to hear with arguments.”

“Sorry,” Zayn’s the first to apologize. “He’s just too easy to pick on.”

Louis snorts. “Can’t argue with that.”

“Hypocrite,” Harry finds himself saying, which makes sense in context of their conversation, but nobody is laughing. He drops his head, trying to hide the embarrassment that’s only building up.

“Where do you wanna eat?”

Zayn points to a sign they pass. “There’s a McDonalds in a few kilometers.”

Louis shrugs. “Fast food garbage it is.” He hits the gas pedal more forcefully, and Harry wonders if he’s been driving slow this whole time and speeding up now, or if he’s just daring to cross the speed limit. He seems to be the kind of person to take risks a lot.

“Remember all the things that you and I did first, and now you’re doing them with her...” Louis sings along to Cher Lloyd on the radio, and Zayn starts to sing along too. Maybe it’s peer pressure, but Harry feels the need to join in, and it isn’t much later that their voices are louder than the blasting speakers.

They pull into the parking lot, laughing at absolutely nothing. Harry practically rolls out of the car since it’s difficult with the things in his way. He nearly falls out, but Zayn catches him under his arms.

Harry pushes him away, straightening his shirt with an annoyed look on his face.

Zayn skips over to Louis, quick to slip their fingers together. “Let’s get a milkshake and share, yeah?”

Louis just lifts his shoulders and mutters, “Whatever.”

Harry frowns, staring at their entwined hands. Are they dating? As far as he knows, Zayn’s straight, but sometimes he tends to steer the other direction, not that he has any problem with that. Harry doesn’t care about gender himself.

He follows them inside, feeling like a third wheel.

Harry orders a cheeseburger with chips and a drink, while the other two buy large fries and, according to plan, share a strawberry milkshake.

“Can I try some?” Harry asks desperately after they sit down. They’re sitting in a booth with Harry beside Zayn and Louis sitting across from them. Despite their spots, Harry still can’t help but feel excluded like he’s not really here.

Louis is leaning forward, attaching his lips to the straw. He moves away and his mouth makes a little popping sound after he swallows.

Zayn answers Harry after setting his on the table. “Yeah, just don’t spit in it. Leave that to Louis.”

“Excuse me, I _swallow._ ”

Harry nearly chokes on a chip but takes a sip of his Dr. Pepper to avoid doing so.

“You okay?” Louis asks, and Harry just shakes his head, continuing to drink.

“Just – what you said… Never mind.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, a smirk creeping in his grin. He turns back to Zayn and whispers something that Harry doesn’t catch.

He manages to catch Zayn’s reply, “Oh no, he doesn’t…”

“But – ” Louis frowns but shakes his head. “Whatever.” He looks at Harry with a pleading look. Harry can’t believe he’s never noticed it before, but Louis’ eyes are the loveliest shade of blue…

“Can I have one?”

Harry somehow snaps out of it. “What? I – The chips?”

Louis is already stuffing one into his mouth, so he just laughs. “Well, a little late, but yeah.”

Harry shrugs. “Yeah, go for it.”

They eat quietly for a few minutes, and it’s not too long that Harry’s done eating, watching Louis and Zayn whisper to each other. He wonders if they’re talking about him.

Someone’s phone goes off, and it’s obviously Louis’ because he’s fishing his phone out of his trousers and smirking before pressing it to his ear.

“Hey, momma’s boy.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, for a second wondering whether or not Louis was talking to him, but he figures he’s forgotten about that by now.

“Yeah, I’m with Zayn and Harry. No, we’re not going anywhere.” Louis rolls his eyes. “Oh really? We were just about to head down there. Yeah, okay. Don’t even mention it, Liam, I swear to God – Alright, see ya.” He hangs up, flicking through his phone for some time. “That was Liam.”

Zayn snorts. “Obviously.”

“Did you bring swimsuits?”

Harry raises his brow, appalled at the provocative question. Not only has he been dragged along on this “road trip”, but now Louis’ asking him if he brought swimsuits? It’s like he isn’t even thinking because how the hell was Harry supposed to know to bring any, let alone a change of clothes?

“I did,” Zayn says, sipping the last of the shake. “Harry though…”

“Yeah…” Harry mutters shyly, dropping his gaze to his empty tray.

“Oh, don’t fret! I bring extras just in case!” Louis says in an overly chirpy tone which nearly causes Harry to jump out of his seat.

“Well, that’s settled then,” Harry says with agreement, accepting his offer because, well, does he really have another choice?

Zayn tosses the empty cup into the trashcan, missing it by a few inches and nearly hitting the lady standing beside it. He tries not to laugh, but the second they’re outside, Zayn’s having a fit and Louis’ shouting at him to knock it off.

“She was hot, do you think that would’ve counted as being hit on?” Zayn continues to laugh and Louis shakes his head disapprovingly. “C’mon, Lou, have a laugh!”

“Do you ever stop talking or are you some kind of a machine?”

Harry smiles at that, happy that someone else is picking up on Zayn’s obnoxious attitude for once.

“Fine, let me drive then.”

“No way, this car is-”

“Full of shit,” Zayn finishes, smirking.

“ _You’re_ full of shit.”

Zayn chuckles, slapping Louis in the arm. “But seriously, let me drive. You can even sit in the back and talk to Harry. He’s lonely.”

“I am not,” Harry defends himself, crossing his arms, annoyed, but what else is new?

“Whatever.” He turns to Louis, holding his hand open. “Louis, the keys.”

Louis sighs, dropping them into the palm of his hand but holding onto him for a second. “If you get us killed, I swear – ”

“Relax, get some sleep or something. You could use it, Mr. Attitude.” Zayn sticks his tongue out at him before walking over to unlock the doors. “Get in, ladies, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.”

Harry laughs and Louis rolls his eyes. It strikes him that it’s like they’ve switched their roles, with Louis more tense with Zayn. Either that or Zayn is just naturally annoying.

Harry steps forward to open the door, stepping inside and settling into the mess. Louis follows after, forced to sit incredibly close to Harry with the items in his way. He throws them under the seat and moves away from Harry.

The second they’re settled, Harry insists, “Listen, you didn’t have to – ”

“Nah, I was getting tired of talking to him anyway,” Louis says like he understands exactly what Harry’s trying to say. “Besides, I _do_ want to talk to you.”

Harry stares at him with disbelief. “You do?”

He bites down his lip, watching Harry as he slips on his seatbelt. “Well, yeah. You seem like an interesting enough person and you’re easy on the eyes, so that’s a plus.”

Harry nods to show he understands. “Okay.”

“And I’m smart enough to see that you’re not really this shy. I can also see you don’t really like me, but I’d like to change that.”

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but he’s not really sure of what to say so he keeps it shut. He mumbles a simple “okay” and hopes for the best that Louis will try to keep the conversation going.

“Sorry for the mess, I’m too lazy to clean.”

“I’ll say,” Zayn adds, getting the engine started.

“I think I was talking to Harry?” Louis says in a way that’s not exactly rude but not overly sassy either. Either way, Harry’s fighting the smile jabbing at his mouth. “But yeah, let me know if you’re bothered, I can _try_ to move things around if that makes you more comfortable.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” Harry insists, surprised at how comfortably Louis’ speaking to him while all he can do is sit still and hope to God he doesn’t make say anything stupid to chase Louis away.

Harry stares out the window, noticing the skies are considerably darker than before, no longer a bright cloudless sky. There’s actually clouds now, but that doesn’t really trouble him seeing as he’s used to unpredictable weather all the time.

“We had chemistry together, didn’t we?”

Harry blinks, wondering what the hell that’s supposed to mean. “What?”

Louis smirks like he knows exactly how Harry had taken it. “The class, you little flirt.”

Harry tries to hide his grin, but he decides he’s hopeless and goes ahead and smiles anyway. “Probably. I know I’ve seen you around before.”

“Yeah, I believe we were lab partners at one point? I think you were the one who spilled water over my trousers and made it look like I pissed myself.”

Harry’s face flushes slightly and he tries to laugh away the memory. “Yeah… Sorry about that.”

“No harm, no foul. Or whatever that bloody quote is. I was laughed at for the rest of the day though, maybe I _should_ be mad at you.”

Harry shrugs. “I deserve it.”

“That you do,” Louis agrees, still grinning. “As hard as it is, I forgive you.”

“Thanks, man.”

“Radio,” Louis demands, rubbing his hands over his thighs. “Zayn!”

Zayn sighs loudly, as if he’s trying to show just how much Louis is annoying him. The radio turns on, overplayed pop music blasting in the car.  Normally it bugs Harry since he listens to different genres, but it’s getting his blood pumping and his legs shaking, though he’s not really sure why. Maybe he’s just overdue for having some fun.

Louis takes out his phone, humming along to the lyrics softly. He’s tapping at the screen, and Harry feels awkward again so he decides to take his out as well, not that he’s got anything to do.

There’s a missed call from his mum, so he calls her back. As he clicks on her name, he’s mentally swearing at himself, hoping she’s not too worried about his whereabouts.

“Hey.”

“Hi, where are you?” She asks, and Harry frowns. He doesn’t expect her to sound so calm, but then again, his mum has never been one to worry too much.

“Hanging out with Zayn and his friend,” he answers honestly.

“Oh, when will you be home?”

“I - ” Harry briefly glances over at Louis who’s still texting. “I’m not sure exactly...”

“Will you be home for dinner?”

He thinks, knowing that’s impossible with their trip to the beach. “I don’t think so.”

His mother’s voice is a little more stern now. “Where are you?”

“Driving to Camber.”

“The beach? I haven’t been there in years...” She trails off. “Alright, well have fun. Don’t forget to wear sunscreen.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “I will, Mum.”

Neither of the boys acknowledge the phone call, and Harry’s so relieved that he leans back in the cushions, reveling in his brighter mood. He glances over at Louis’ who’s still on his phone, and he wants to groan. If it’s one thing he hates, it’s when people are on their phones all the time, especially when they’re around other people.

“What’s up?” Harry decides to ask, scooting closer to look at the screen. He sees numerous dots fill the screen, and Louis’ dragging his fingers across them to form lines.

“Playing a game.”

“Oh.”

Louis smirks, turning to him. “You thought I was texting?”

“Nah, I’m just bored and I – ”

“ _Wanted your attention_ ,” Louis finishes with a look that makes him seem so sure of himself. He sets his phone aside. “Don’t worry, I’m all yours.”

Harry crosses his arms, trying to hide the amused grin on his face. “In that case…” he begins, ready to try something defiant like tossing his head on Louis’ shoulder, but his face suddenly flushes and he’s even embarrassed at the idea, so he just shakes his head. “Never mind.”

“No, go.”

“I was going to make a move, but I decided I’d better not,” Harry says, trying to hide his blush. At the same time he’s mentally slapping himself, repeatedly questioning why he chose to speak his mind.

Louis frowns. “And why’s that?”

“Because you’re you and I’m…” he stops, unsure of where this is going. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

“Listen, Zayn said it before and I’m saying it now. I really don’t take anything seriously. _Honestly._ ” He looks at Harry with a hint of suspicion in his voice. Is he asking for Harry to hit on him?

“If you say so,” Harry takes that as his cue to step off the shy-wagon and into fully expressing himself, though it’s easier said than done. “How much longer till we’re there?”

“About an hour, probably longer at this rate.” Louis leans forward, shifting his head toward Zayn so he can glare at him.

“At least you’re not driving. We’d _die_ at that,” Zayn defends himself, and the second he does, Louis just scoffs and falls back into his seat, except he incorrectly anticipates his landing and ends up knocking into Harry’s chest.

Harry’s breathing hitches as he pushes Louis off of him, and he finds that the boy’s body won’t budge, almost like he doesn’t _want_ to move.

“You’re really warm.” Louis moves his body further into his seat, dropping his head onto Harry’s lap completely. A warm feeling surges through Harry along with the scarlet color his face has become, and try as he might, he can’t really bring himself to push Louis away now.

“Um, what’s going on back there?”

“We’re cuddling,” Louis says to Zayn as if it’s no big deal, and Harry doesn’t have anything to say because, well, he’s not exactly complaining either.

“You certainly got on quickly, I’m impressed.”

“We – ” Harry begins but stops himself, wondering why he even bothers.

He looks down at Louis who’s making silly faces. One minute he’s smiling, the next he’s sticking out his tongue, and finally, he’s got a blank expression, but, all in all, Harry really starts to notice his most notable features. For one thing, he’s got lovely eyes and a lovely face, and he definitely isn’t _unattractive._

He also doesn’t notice he’s staring until he does. Pulling his eyes away, he looks at the window on his left to see drops of water hitting the glass, and his heart sinks instantly.

“It’s raining.”

Zayn shrugs. “A little rain won’t end this road trip.”

“Will you quit calling it that?”

“What? Road trip?”

“Yeah.” Harry’s so focused on speaking to Zayn that he doesn’t notice he’s twirling his fingers in Louis’ hair.

“Well, what else am I supposed to call it? A mission?”

Harry laughs. “A mission to get to the beach, okay.”

“Apparently Liam’s got a new girlfriend,” Zayn says, changing the subject.

“Already?” Liam has only recently had a breakup three weeks ago, and in the very few relationships Harry’s been in, he’s never understood how someone could move on so quickly.

“Yeah, you know how he is with the ladies.”

Harry shrugs, still finding that hard to believe. “Will she be there?”

“Probably not. He’s with his family, so…”

Harry nods and looks down to see his hands in Louis’ hair, and almost immediately, he removes them and pretends it didn’t happen.

However, he continues to watch Louis who’s staring back at him with that devilish smile which is basically asking, _Well, why’d you stop?_

He’s not sure why, but somewhere between the fact that Louis’ head is resting over his legs and that he looks really great from this angle, he can feel himself getting hard below, and he wonders if Louis can feel it too.

Harry releases a shaky breath but is careful not to let it hitch. He also shifts his body forward, almost like he’s bucking his hips, except he’s mostly trying to get his cock to stop twitching, to put it bluntly.

While Harry’s repositioning himself, Louis seems to take the hint to move away at least for a little bit. Harry’s trying to hide how he’s feeling, and he’s hoping Louis won’t give him shit for it.

“You okay?”

Harry shakes a little but manages to nod his head. “Yeah.”

Louis bites down his lips and mutters something under his breath which Harry doesn’t catch. He thinks he’s said “you look better than okay” but perhaps his mind is playing tricks on him.

He doesn’t bother asking him to clarify either.

Instead he takes out his headphones and decides he’ll listen to music to pass the time. He’s feeling more nervous now and isn’t really up for socializing anymore, not that he’s really been in the partying mood all day. But maybe a nap would change that.

“What are you listening to?” Louis asks him, clearly unaware that Harry wants to be alone.

“Nothing yet.” He glances down at his phone, hitting shuffle. He feels Louis’ eyes on him the whole time and feels compelled to ask, “Do you want to – yeah.” Louis got the clue instantly, taking one headphone in his ear. He leans his head onto Harry’s shoulder which takes more than a second to adjust.

Harry scrolls down his music library, trying to pick something to listen to. He smiles at his choice and lets it play, already feeling the stress fade away. It isn’t doing much for his hard-on, however, which is still (literally) hanging, and he’s not entirely sure why he’s still so turned on when Louis is simply resting his head on his shoulder.

Massive Attack is great to listen to and all, but it has this sensual feel to it which makes Harry feel like he’s on top of the world. The melodic tune and bass line make him want to give someone a strip tease and to just fall asleep at the same time. It’s a weird combination, but maybe Harry’s a weird person.

He hears soft breathing beside him, and it comes to his attention that Louis’ fallen asleep, and with that reassuring realization, he decides he might as well rest too.

It was going to be a long day, after all.


	2. Day One - Part B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry didn’t expect his graduation to end with a road trip, and he certainly didn’t expect to reunite with his old crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut. Just so you know (in case there are any boys pretending to be straight and disgusted cough cough ceez). Forgive me for the word count. I honestly have a problem.

Harry finds himself rolling onto the ground after hearing, “There’s a spider crawling up your trousers!”

He’s more surprised at the sound than what Zayn’s yelling about, but as soon as the words hit him, he shakes his body in panic but stops momentarily once the truth dawns on him.

“Fuck off,” he mutters, scratching his aching head. He looks around with no sign of Louis. “Where are we?”

“The beach.” Zayn looks at him like he’s just asked him the dumbest question known to man.

“O-kay…” He nods, reality finally hitting him. “Where’s Louis?”

“Getting his swim trunks from the trunk. Hah.” Zayn laughs at his play of words. “I’m so funny today.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Yeah, _hilarious._ ”

“Don’t be a cunt.”

“Whatever.”

“Aw, he’s awake,” Harry hears from outside, and it’s seconds later he sees Louis outside the door with a blue tote-bag in hand. Smiling, he shoots Harry a wink before tossing it at him.

Harry barely catches it. He starts going through it right away but looks up at Louis before actually getting anything. “Which one can I wear?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Harry raises an eyebrow as if to ask if he’s sure, but he decides to go with the answer he received. He pulls out the two, one a bright red and another is blue with teal stripes. He doesn’t really pay attention until he looks closer at the red one, a realisation causing a smirk to appear on his face. It looks rather smaller and definitely tighter. His smirk widens.

He pulls out the striped one, leaving Louis with the other one.

“Here,” he says, handing the bag back to him, trying to hide his grin. He parts the door, and as he brushes past Louis he whispers, “Have fun.”

He expects Louis to run after him and beg for the other shorts, but he’s still standing in place while Harry looks for a place to change. They’re parked in a parking lot (well obviously), and there are buildings from the distance which are the apartments, or the areas where people can camp. Some tents are set up, and he looks for Liam before he enters the first building.

It’s clearly an information hall, so Harry looks for the toilet. He changes as quick as he can, still smiling at the fact that he would be seeing Louis in that square-leg swimsuit. He’s almost laughing at the fact that Louis would practically be wearing boxer briefs at the beach, and just the images in his mind are making him grin wildly.

Harry returns to the car with his clothes held in his hands. He observes the doors are closed, so he decides to take the liberty and knock in case anyone’s changing. It takes a second, but the door finally opens.

Louis is sitting on the seat, wearing the square-legs, except he’s sitting down so it’s hard to see if he’s even wearing anything at all. Harry is still surprised, expecting Louis to pick out a more suitable swimsuit at the last minute. But Louis just smiles at Harry as he pulls off his shirt, revealing an incredibly toned chest – well, not incredibly, but it’s not like he’s chubby or overly muscular, and basically, Harry likes what he sees.

“I have to say, I was really looking forward to seeing you wear these,” Louis admits, looking down at himself.

Harry smirks, looking there as well. “I don’t know, _you’re_ certainly pulling them off.”

“Not yet I’m not.”

Harry blushes furiously, taking note of the misinterpreted meaning and the “not yet.”

“So, shall we go then?”

“Yeah, just – where’s Zayn?”

“He already left,” Louis answers. “He didn’t feel like waiting for you, so I thought I would.”

Harry smiles. “That’s sweet.”

Louis claps his hands together, retrieving his bag from the passenger seat. “Then let’s cut the jibber-jabber and get to it, yeah?” He steps out of the car and meets Harry outside.

The second Harry sees him, wearing nothing but the boxer-replicated-swim shorts, which he might add, clearly outlines his bulge, he’s unable to quit staring, and it’s getting so bad has to force himself to look away with the fear that Louis might be aware he’s watching.

“Ready?”

Harry nods his head, trying to keep his eyes focused on the water crashing into the shore.

They head down to the beach and see a group of people gathered in one specific area. It’s a small gathering, mostly Liam and his extended family, which actually means there’s a lot of people. There’s a couple grills, propane, of course, since actual grills aren’t allowed here, and the smell of food lingers in the air.

“Zayn!” Louis shouts, running toward him. Harry follows, trying to keep his eyes off that _incredible_ arse but finds it impossible because it’s too obvious to _not_ stare at.

Zayn is standing around a group of girls, who they later learn are Liam’s cousins, and he waves at the boys to come on over.

“Hey, you came!”

Harry turns around to see Liam walking to them with a smile plastered on his face. He greets Harry and says, “I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Neither did I,” Harry admits with a laugh.

“Well, it’s basically just me and my family, so just make yourself at home.”

Harry mumbles an “alright” before allowing Liam to brush past him to greet Louis. He turns around and observes it himself, trying not to laugh at the fact that Liam’s questioning his choice in swimsuits.

“I think I look sexy,” Louis says proudly, “and Harry certainly thinks so, too.”

“Is that so?” Liam smirks at him, but all Harry can do is shrug.

“I can’t lie, mate.”

Louis shares a look of amusement with Liam, then sets a hand on his waist to show that he’s more than comfortable with what he’s wearing.

“Alright, well be careful. There’s a lot of girls here. Desperate ones, too.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” Louis promises, winking. When Liam runs off, he turns to Harry. “So what do you want to do?”

Harry’s honestly surprised Louis’ still talking to him when there are, as Liam stated, many girls around the area, and he really assumes Louis would be flirting around or something that certainly doesn’t involve him.

“Erm, I don’t know,” he answers. Then it comes to his attention that he’s almost a foot taller than Louis, and for some reason, that makes him grin like an idiot.

“What are you smiling at?”

This only makes Harry’s smile grow. “Nothing.”

“Well, I guess we could go over there,” Louis says, pointing to where the waves are crashing, three or four girls splashing water at each other.

Harry almost wants to laugh at himself because his prediction had been correct. Louis really does just want to flirt around, but somehow Harry can’t get himself to back out. “Yeah, sure.”

They run to them, nearly knocking each other over with the way they’re constantly bumping into each other and laughing for no reason. This creates quite the effect on the group of girls, and they’re laughing as well.

“Hey,” Harry says first, grinning.

“Hey,” Louis mimics him, and the girls shout back simultaneous hello’s.

One of the girls is raising an eyebrow at them. She’s got short, wavy brown hair and hazel eyes, and she’s smiling like there’s no tomorrow. “Nice shorts,” she comments, which is just assumed she’s speaking to Louis because _duh._

“Thanks, babe,” Louis says casually, which Harry learns later is normal for him to add that word of endearment to the end, because, well, he’s _Louis_ and that’s just what he does. “I’m Louis, by the way. This is Harry.”

“Oh, nice to meet you,” she replies with a grin. “I’m Tina. This is Sabra and Alex.” She gestures to the girls beside her. Harry isn’t really paying attention to where she’s pointing, but they’re all pretty and it doesn’t really matter who’s who.

“So, are you all related to Liam?”

“Just me. These are my friends.” She laughs like the question’s the funniest thing she’s heard all day. “Are any of you? It’s weird to ask, but Liam’s got a large family, so…”

“No, we’re just his friends.”

The one with short, deep red hair speaks next, “So, what brings you boys to this side of the beach?”

Louis shrugs. “We decided we might as well make some friends while we’re here.”

She whispers something in Tina’s ear which causes the two of them to burst into hysterical laughter. “I ship it too, Sabra!” she exclaims which causes Harry to frown in confusion.

“Ship?”

“Sorry, it’s just – you two would make a cute couple,” the one called Sabra admits, looking like she’s trying too hard not to grin.

“Are you?” The one with long, light brown hair, Alex, asks, “I mean – are you together?”

Harry starts, ready to deny it, “Of course we’re n –”

“Maybe,” Louis speaks over him, causing Harry to smirk and wonder what he has up his sleeve.

All three are grinning wildly as if it’s taking everything for them not to jump in the air and squeal with excitement.

“Is that so?” the same girl questions. “Prove it.”

Harry glances over at Louis for a sign of what to do, but he thinks he sees a faint blush on his face, and he’s biting his lip as if his confident attitude has fallen to a nervous stance.

“How?” he asks after some silence.

It’s Tina who talks this time. Smirking, she says one word and one word only.

“Kiss.”

“ _Please,_ ” Alex begs.

“Um…” Louis turns to face Harry, still biting down his bottom lip. “Okay.”

Harry’s eyes widen, and he gives Louis a look as if to say “are you sure?” but he doesn’t say anything, simply continuing to stare at him with a blank expression, if the light pink on his cheeks count as anything.

“Okay,” Louis repeats, sighing slowly.

Harry is staring straight ahead, really starting to notice the subtle beauty of Louis’ eyes, bright and cerulean blue, and it dawns on him that, wow, maybe he actually wants to kiss him. And the thought nearly brings Harry to his knees because Louis is so pretty, and he’s only known him for, what, three hours, and there’s always the possibility that moving too fast could ruin their friendship.

“Ready?” Louis whispers, breathing hot air into his face.

Harry can only nod because he can barely hear anything over his heart racing in his chest. He tries to get a hold of himself, trying to remember the last time he’s kissed someone. Does his breath stink? What if Louis’ disgusted? He sure _looks_ like he’s ready, so maybe…

Louis brings his face closer to Harry, and Harry’s instinct nearly has him backing away. Harry’s continuing to over-think, but he runs out of time because Louis’ moving too fast, kissing his cheek lightly.

Harry’s surprised and a little disappointed that he didn’t go for the lips, and the girls share the same expression. But Louis is smiling as he tosses an arm over Harry’s shoulder, causing him to smile as well.

Sabra smirks, shaking her head.  “Such a tease.”

“But they _were_ giving each other heart eyes, so it’s fair,” Tina adds.

“They’re so cute.”

Harry tries to grin, and then he realises how ridiculous this is. They came over to talk to girls, but it has taken a different turn, not that he minds, but still, it’s weird.

“Hey!” He hears Zayn shout from behind them. He’s running toward them with a bottle in hand, glowing brightly when his eyes land on the girls. “Food’s being served.” He glances at Harry and Louis, and Harry is wondering why he’s in such a good mood, but the alcohol he’s holding kind of gives it away. Zayn looks down at the girls and moves forward to extend his hand out to Tina. “Hey, what’s your name?”

Harry and Louis walk away with no words exchanged. After that almost-sort-of-kiss, Harry doesn’t really have anything to say, and he’s positive Louis doesn’t either. More than anything, he’s confused and wondering why Louis agreed to it in the first place when they have nothing to prove.

They near the grills where there are blankets and towels are spread over the sand, people gathered over them carrying their plates and drinks.

They find Louis’ bag lying casually next to a stranger’s towel, and the second Louis gets his hands on it, he pulls out two shirts, tossing one at Harry.

“So nobody gets distracted,” he explains and Harry nods. He wonders if Louis has noticed how much he’s been watching his chest thus far. He wonders if Louis has been doing the same.

Since Louis’ frame is smaller than his, the shirt is a little tight, but Harry can manage.

Louis is smiling, probably from seeing someone else wearing his clothes. He’s shaking his head, chuckling.

“What? It’s not _that_ tight.”

“No, I – I don’t even know why, but –” He stops to have another laugh. “Never mind, what am I saying?”

Harry frowns, but he’s guilty of smiling as well.

“Don’t worry, you look great. I’m just being a twat.”

“Aren’t you always…” Harry turns around to start heading toward the food.

Louis is quick to follow, catching him by the shoulder. “Wow, you _could_ wait for me.”

“Or I could keep walking?”

“You realise we’re a package deal now, right?” Harry just raises an eyebrow as if to say “is that so?” and Louis grins. “That’s right, Styles. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”

And maybe Harry should be _slightly_ worried, but he finds himself beaming like an idiot instead.

“Now, c’mon!” He exclaims, taking Harry’s hand into his own. He drags Harry over to where they’re serving food and doesn’t release his hold until he has to.

There are plastic plates, cups, and cutlery, and Harry takes everything he needs. The picnic is very casual, the stereotype of hamburgers and hotdogs and potato salad. Harry decides on two hotdogs and potato crisps, and takes a Pepsi from the coolers.

He waits for Louis to get his meal, and they find Zayn and Liam gathered around a group of girls and boys, most of which look familiar. Harry crouches down to settle into the small patch of space, trying not to drop anything in the process. Louis sits beside him, apologising when he accidentally guts him in the stomach.

“Harry, do you drink?” he asks once they’re fully settled, facing each other.

“No.”

“At all?”

“Well, wine occasionally, if that counts,” Harry admits, cracking open his can of Pepsi.

“I see.” Louis takes a relatively long sip of his beer and catches his breath after pulling the bottle from his lips.

It’s not that Louis’ being respectful because he really is, but something has Harry wanting to be rebellious tonight, and he’s not sure what it is, but it has him asking, “Can you spare some?”

“What?” People are talking loudly around them, so Louis has to lean forward to hear him better.

“Can I have some of your beer?”

“Oh.” Louis holds the bottle to Harry, but he also looks confused. Curious too, but mostly confused. “You sure? You don’t have to do anything to impress me, I mean – I don’t want you to d–”

“No, _I_ want to,” he insists, and that’s really all it takes for Louis to hand him the bottle. Harry gives it a hard look before pressing his lips to the top, ready to take a small sip, but his instinct has him continuing to drink. It’s hot and burning his throat, but he doesn’t stop until Louis pulls it away from his mouth.

“I said a sip, not a chug!”

Harry coughs, the liquid still causing the back of his mouth to ache. “Sorry.” He laughs at the irritated expression on Louis’ face. “Relax, it’s just beer.”

“ _Expensive_ beer,” he corrects him. “Of course, Zayn bought it and he’s pretty rich, so I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“So you don’t hate me?” Harry pretends to look thrilled.

Louis stares at him for a second and smirks. “Nah, you’re tolerable.”

“Just tolerable?”

Louis lifts his hamburger to reach his mouth. “Take it or leave it.”

Their conversation comes to an end or, rather, a pause, and Harry just listens to the other people talking around them as he begins eating a hotdog. The second it’s in his mouth, Louis’ staring at him and smirking, and it doesn’t take more than a second for Harry to understand.

He squints his eyes, trying to glare. “Real mature, mate.”

Louis shrugs, but his eyes are glued on him and the way he’s fitting the hotdog in his mouth.

Harry’s grinning, but he can’t find it in himself to feel embarrassed. Instead he proceeds to eat the hotdog even more seductively because maybe that will have a more long-lasting effect.

Louis points his head downward to hide the smug smile he’s wearing. He’s clearly just as amused as Harry. He perks his head up a second later, keeping his eyes wavering away from Harry.

Harry just shakes his head, smirking as he continues to eat.

They don’t speak until Harry decides to ask, after swallowing the last bite of his second hotdog, “Wanna go for a swim?”

“Whoa, there. You know the rule.” Louis looks at him like he’s just committed genocide. “Wait half an hour after eating.”

Harry groans, spreading his legs over the cloth since people are leaving and there’s more space now. He stretches his arms behind his back, setting it at the end of the cloth and leaning back on it. He lets out a sigh, feeling more comfortable than fifteen minutes ago.

“Have you thought about college?” Harry asks, though he’s really just trying to make conversation.

“Yeah, but let’s not talk about that right now. I mean, we just got out of school.”

“Yeah,” Harry nods agreeably, dropping his gaze to the wavy crisps waiting to be devoured.

There’s music playing distinctively in the background, and people are playing volleyball while others are surfing, half of which aren’t even here for the same occasion. Harry supposes the beach is just a typical place for people to go to on the last day of school.

“I used to come here a lot, like once a month,” Louis randomly says.

“What did you do?” Harry expresses his wonder because, well, what if Louis’ some sort of professional surfer and that’s just another thing Harry hasn’t known about?

Instead of giving a clear answer, he shrugs. “I usually just hung out with my friends. Basically, we’d get high out of our minds and chase each other for hours on end.”

“So why’d you stop?” Harry’s not sure why he bothers when the reason is pretty apparent.

“I learned that I was hanging out with the wrong people, and that I don’t need them to be happy.”

Harry half-smiles, relieved that Louis was able to crawl out of a worst-case scenario. For some reason, that gives Harry the impression that Louis is a strong person and is able to think exclusively, which is a _huge_ turn on.

“That’s good,” he responds, honestly. “I would give you some big revolutionary story too except I don’t really have much to share.”

“I don’t appreciate people telling their stories only to make their lives seem worse anyway.” The way Louis says it is slightly confusing, but Harry understands. He absolutely hates it when he’s trying to talk about his problems, and then there’s always that one friend who’s trying to make their problems bigger to get more attention. He can most definitely relate.

“You’re really smart,” Harry comments out of nowhere. Maybe he’s speaking his mind and the chug of beer is to blame, but maybe he’s just using that to his advantage.

“You think so?” Louis tilts his head, looking unsure of Harry’s answer. When Harry nods, he just scoffs. “What I would give to hear my parents say that.”

So Louis’ parents have high expectations. He can say he didn’t see that one coming.

So Harry tries to assure him, “Well, you definitely deserve to hear it more.”

“I’m just glad you’re finally talking, but maybe you’re drunk.”

“No, I’m just more comfortable.” It’s really more of a nice buzz.

“Does that mean I can kiss you? For real, this time?”

The look on Harry’s face is priceless. He definitely did not see that coming. In fact, he’s been spending the past half hour trying to forget it ever happened, as small of an action it was. Harry looks for any sign of teasing in Louis’ face, but he looks completely and utterly serious, and Harry’s not quite sure of how to respond.

“Erm… yeah… except I just ate, and hotdogs have a gross aftertaste, and –”

He expects Louis to smirk and say something really condescending to ridicule him for rejecting his offer, but he just sits still and nods understandably instead. And Harry’s not sure if he’s supposed to feel bad because this calm behavior is unusual for him.

“Alright, later,” Louis makes it official. More than anything, the fact that the words implicated that they would be kissing soon causes shivers to travel down Harry’s spine, and it literally takes him everything to keep  his breath from hitching.

Harry is fully aware of the semi he’s sprouting, and he decides he needs to use the bathroom, or at least, get away from Louis before his condition gets worse. So he stands up, straightening the shirt over his board shorts.

“Looking forward to it,” he mutters softly before starting to walk off.

“Where are you going?” Louis shouts at him.

“Toilet.”

When he walks inside, he’s quick to run to the sinks first and throw cold water at his face. It doesn’t really help with anything except relieving his headache, since his eyes always hurt around this time of the day because his sleep cycles have him sleepy no matter what he’s doing.

He rubs his eyes, and when he looks at his reflection in the mirror, he sees Zayn walking out from one of the stalls.

“Let me guess, you’ve come for a wank?”

“No,” Harry denies quickly, wiping his hands on a paper towel.

“Oh, so Louis already took care of that?”

“Shut up.”

“ _Oh._ Not yet, right?”

“Zayn –” Harry warns him, ready to flush his head down a toilet. His comments really aren’t necessary.

“Have you kissed him yet?”

“No,” he answers, a bit of disappointment stirring in his voice, but he tries not to let that show.

“But you want to, don’t you?”

Harry decides there’s no point in denying this little crush now, more-so because Zayn won’t leave him alone until he gets his way.

There’s a long pause before he responds. “Well, yeah, but –”

“But what?”

“But nothing.” Harry frowns, curious as to why Zayn wanted to know so much. “Why do you care anyway?”

“To be honest, I need to know if I’m going be a third wheel for the remainder of this trip, or if it’s okay if I join in –”

“For God’s sake, Zayn, I’ve only met the guy hours ago,” Harry snaps his eyes shut, trying not to imagine what Zayn has described.

“You would be terrible at gay clubs,” Zayn says, shaking his head.

Harry rolls his eyes. “Look, I think I actually might… fancy him,” he admits, feeling a slight palpitation in his heart as he speaks. His breathing is kinda shaky, but he needs to get his point across. “So please don’t mess this up.”

“I’ve only been teasing you, I’m not going to ruin this for you or anything,” Zayn says in a serious tone. “I won’t apologise for my jokes though, now _that_ you’re going to have to get used to, mate.”

“Fair enough.” He looks at himself in the mirror again, fixing his hair a little. “So, gotten laid yet?”

“Why do you assume I’m always quote, unquote getting laid?”

Harry shrugs. Zayn’s always unpredictable, so it’s not like he can really foresee his actions. “Well, have you?”

“No. I only just met her –” He begins, but Harry’s already shooting him a smirk because he’s just repeated what Harry has said earlier, and that just proves that Harry isn’t only trying to sound intelligent. “I mean – I’m willing to wait because I really like her, okay?”

Harry is still smirking, but he understands too. “Well, best of luck to you. Just wondering, did you come here to get yourself off?”

Zayn’s life nearly flashes before his eyes. “No fucking way. Why would you even think that?”

He exits the bathroom after that, leaving Harry in a fit of laughter.

Harry heads back to the shore after taking care of business (and no, he did _not_ jack off, _please_ , _why would you even think that?_ ). Louis isn’t sitting over the same cloth anymore, instead, lying on a towel with his stomach facing the sky. He’s shirtless and wearing his Aviators, and it’s just a lovely sight to see.

Harry sits beside him, waiting for Louis to notice he’s returned. He thinks of an idea and is quick to hover over him. Maybe covering his sun will get his attention.

“Oh, you’re back!” Louis finally chirps, pulling the Aviators down to the end of his nose.

“Yeah, sorry, Zayn was there and it got… chaotic.” He grins, trying to decide if that’s the right word choice for what he was actually doing.

“I was trying to decide if you already found someone else. Well, it was either that or you got eaten by sharks, and I prefer the latter,” Louis says this all with a blank expression, shrugging altogether, and Harry has a hard time understanding what he’s trying to say.

Louis clears it up, “That means I missed you.”

“Oh.” Harry tries to hide the fact that his cheeks are boiling red, not because of the situation, because Harry was only gone for a little while and there was no need to miss him, but just the fact that Louis has said it makes him feel all warm and gooey inside, and he hates that more than anything.

“Well, fine, Styles. Guess you’re too cool to miss me back or anything…”

Harry chuckles. “Yeah, yeah, I missed you too. I wasn’t sure how I’d ever go on –”

“Okay, okay,” Louis cuts him off because Harry’s being _too_ melodramatic to the point where he’s ruined the moment. “It’s been like thirty minutes, how about that swim?”

“I’m up for it,” Harry answers enthusiastically. He picks himself off the ground and helps Louis stand up as well. They just stand there for a second, looking at each other, and Harry thinks that maybe Louis is going to bring up the kiss again, but the familiar voice from the distance tells him otherwise.

“Count me in!” Zayn hollers, tossing an arm around each of the boys until he’s practically strangling them both.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend to tend to?” Louis questions, which makes Harry smile knowing that he wants Zayn away just as much.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he denies in an as-a-matter-of-fact way. “Plus I’d rather swim. The weather’s really nice, you have to admit.”

They come to the decision that Zayn’s tagging along, and Harry’s pleased that Louis is acting just as irritated because in reality, they both just want to be alone, whether or not that implicates that Louis wants Harry as much as Harry wants him.

Louis rolls around in the sand first, and when the waves collapsed on him, Harry can’t fight back the laughs escaping his mouth.

“Oof!” He yelps as Louis pulls him down into the sand with them, and he nearly chokes at the water that unexpectedly hits him in the face.

Louis is smirking as he continues to splash Harry, despite how much Harry’s yelling at him to stop, laughing in the process.

“I’m – serious – stop!” Harry shouts, collapsing into the water before it can hit him. He struggles to swim away, but Louis’ grabbing him from behind which, if Harry’s feet weren’t touching the sand, would probably have him drowning.

“Lou, that tickles!”

Louis keeps touching his sides and below his armpits to tickle him, and Harry can’t stop laughing because while Louis’ touching him, it’s also a weird kind of pain being tickled. He turns around, dropping his hands onto Louis’ shoulders and attempting to push him down.

“This isn’t funny! I’m going to dro –!” Louis complains before his head is forced underwater, and he returns to the surface seconds later to spit his mouthful of water at Harry’s face.

“Gross! My mouth was open too!”

Louis just laughs at him but falls backward when a body appears in between them. Immediately he begins splashing Zayn, and Harry mimics the action until everyone is laughing.

“Where did you go?” Louis asks. They have been so focused on each other that they have forgotten about Zayn who’s been out of their sight for like fifteen minutes now.

Zayn looks back at the shore. “I figured I’d leave you two alone, plus they’re serving dessert.”

Zayn barely finishes as Louis and Harry race each other out of the water, leaving their friend behind. Harry nearly trips over the water underneath his feet, but Louis catches him, laughing as he says, “You alright?”

Harry just laughs, pushes both hands to Louis’ chest and knocking him into the water. They’re at a shallow level now, so Louis is able to bring him down with him.

“Arsehole,” Harry says after catching his breath.

“Well, you _are_ what you eat.”

And somehow, Harry expected that.

They’re laughing and tripping each other as they make their way to the tables of food again, their bodies properly covered in sand, looking properly filthy.

“Someone’s had a little too much fun,” Liam comments as he walks past them to get in line.

“Blame Harry. He started it.” Louis crosses his arms, and Harry elbows him whilst giggling.

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

Harry scratches his nose, watching the people standing in front of them. “Line’s moving up.”

“I’m aware,” Louis says in a loud voice, leaning his face into Harry’s in the most obnoxious way. He’s kept his face there for a while, and somehow Harry feels the need to run his tongue over his nose. Louis pulls away, smirking. “Well, that was intimate.”

“Let that be a warning,” Harry says before grabbing a paper plate.

“Oh?”

Harry doesn’t want to answer, since the explanation is already implied, so he just winks, or attempts to.

His eyes are scanning over the desserts, and there’s so much to choose from. He ends up getting a brownie and a cookie, since he isn’t very hungry. He assumes Louis will share his drink, and he’s still choosing to live vicariously today, so maybe he’ll get more than a chug this time.

They sit down with Liam and basically talk about how happy they are that school is finally over.

“I’m going to America in two weeks,” Liam says with excitement in his voice.

“Really? That’s fantastic,” Louis responds, sounding envious. “Sad to say I’ll be here the whole summer.”

“Same,” Harry chimes in, smiling at the ideas already forming in his mind. He has to remind himself that he’s only been hanging out with Louis for hours now, and that it certainly doesn’t make them friends or imply they would see each other again after today. Not that he would mind, really…

He bites into his brownie and hears Zayn’s all-too-familiar voice calling their names from behind. Rolling his eyes, he starts to retaliate how much that boy is starting to crawl under his skin.

“Really?” Louis groans, looking slightly irritated.

Harry turns to see Zayn holding a vintage guitar and handing it over to Louis. He shrugs, sitting down beside him. “I figured we might as well have some entertainment.”

“But why –” Harry begins to question why Louis had brought his guitar in the first place, but he figures he has been planning this all along, so it’s best he steers away from asking pointless questions.

“What?”

“Nothing.” He grins cockily, winking. “You’re beautiful.”

Louis shakes his head and chuckles. He leans close enough to Harry to pinch his cheeks, smiling in the process. He focuses his attention back on their other friends. “Now, any song suggestions?”

“You play?” Harry gasps in astonishment. Well, this is certainly something else they have in common.

Louis nods. “I’ve been playing for, like, five years now? I’m really bad though…”

“I doubt that.”

Louis smirks. “You haven’t even heard me play.”

Harry tries not to blush. “Yeah, well –”

“Journey!” Someone shouts from the food table, and Harry’s just surprised they’re able to hear them talking from here.

“Journey?” Louis shrugs, bringing his legs forward to support the guitar over his lap. He sets his fingers over the strings, plucking them to check if it’s in tune. Normally Harry wouldn’t bother sitting here since too much Journey can get a little annoying, but in all honesty he just wants to hear Louis play.

He begins strumming, and people gather around them as the chords progress into the tune. Harry rocks his head back and forth, unable to stop his lips from curdling into a smile. It isn’t too long after that he’s even singing along.

“Strangers waiting… up and down the boulevard. Their shadows searching in the night!”

They’ve managed to get the people surrounding them to sing along, and Harry’s in such a happy-go-lucky mood that he can’t stop himself from gazing at Louis who’s staring back as they belt out the chorus together with the crowd.

“Don't stop believin'! Hold on to the feelin'!”

When the song’s over, everyone’s clapping and smiling and laughing, and it’s all just a beautiful scene. But Louis’ starting to pluck again, and it’s obvious that this isn’t quite over yet.

Harry doesn’t recognise the song, and it takes him more than a second to realise that Louis’ just playing random chords and strumming obnoxiously because he hasn’t got a clue of what to play next.

Harry’s ready to give him another suggestion when suddenly the guitar is being handed to him.

“What?” His eyes stir wildly. “Lou, I can’t –”  

“’Course you can!”

“ _Lou._ ”

“C’mon!” Louis shakes the guitar, shooting him a pleading look. He’s pouting now and it’s so unbelievably adorable that Harry has to roll his eyes and accept the instrument. He just can’t say no.

“Yay!” Louis cheers as Harry adjusts himself to the guitar. He plucks the strings a little, noticing that the tone is lovely, a great sound. Best of all, it’s in tune, and he knows exactly what to play.

Except his hands are frozen over the frets, and _everyone_ is looking at him.

He looks at Louis with a questioning look, wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do. All Louis has to do is give his head a quick nod to paint a warm smile on Harry’s face, lifting his confidence a notch.

He strums the strings, playing a G chord to start the song. It’s a slower, more relaxing tune, and he observes that people have began swaying to the music, and that makes it all the easier to continue. However, once the intro was over and people are supposed to start singing… nobody makes a sound.

Harry swears at himself mentally, wondering why the hell he picked such an uncommon song. So he tries to relax, playing the chord progressions a couple more times before Louis pats him on the elbow, smiling encouragingly.

Harry smiles back, clearing his throat before he begins, “I fell in love next to you. Burning fires in this room. It just fits light and smooth, like my feet in my shoe.” He stops for a second to look at Louis who’s tapping his feet into the sand to the rhythm of the song.

“Little one, lie with me. Sew your heart to my sleeve. We'll stay quiet underneath shooting stars if it helps you sleep…” He doesn’t notice there’s a softer voice accompanying him until he does. He turns to see Louis singing along with him, and he thinks a part of him dies because it’s all so surreal, and he never wants it to end.

Together they progress into the chorus, singing their hearts out. Their voices fit together harmoniously, and Harry’s can’t stop the idiotic smile on his face because maybe he’s sappy and stupid, but it’s like they were _made_ for each other.

When the song ends, the atmosphere is calm and serene, everyone smiling and livid about everything. Nobody is playing volleyball. Nobody is drinking their brains out. It’s starting to get dark, and people are starting to leave. Only few are staying in place, lying on the sand, with the sound of the acoustic guitar in the air since Louis let Zayn play after some time.

Harry and Louis are gathered beside each other, their skin practically brushing together. They’re staring at the ocean, wondering why waves crash so much and how they manage to keep a steady pace.

“We should make a fire,” Harry suggests, wanting to lean his head onto Louis’ shoulder; however, his self-control restrains him from doing so.

Louis laughs. “I think that’s illegal, mate.”

“Since when did you become a stickler for rules?”

Louis leans forward, so he can stare back at Harry with a quizzical look. “Um, I don’t want to go to jail, so…?”

Harry chuckles at his retort, thinking through the whole day. It’s funny how he had been so uncomfortable around Louis at first and now they talk as if they’ve known each other their whole lives.

“Today has been amazing,” he tells him after releasing a satisfied sigh.

Louis catches his eye, and they both fall into an intense gaze, both of their faces expressionless, but it says it all. Harry’s still got song lyrics running through his mind, and somehow he’s reminded of Louis’ promise.

Louis nods. “It’s been fun.”

They’re closer now, and Harry can feel their leg hairs brushing together as their bodies face each other. His breath hitches at the proximity, and he tries to tell himself that it’s nothing and that his body is just freaking out over nothing. But as the staring lengthens, Harry’s eyes trace down Louis’ face and find his pink, pink lips and it’s all so tempting he can’t resist saying, “So… about that kiss…”

He thinks Louis smirks then, but there are other things at hand. For one thing, they’re _definitely_ touching now, and Harry can feel Louis’ breath in his face which suddenly becomes too much and he can’t really wait any longer. He pushes his hands further into the grass to lean closer, and he manages to lean close enough to brush their lips together. Louis’ lips are warm and gentle, and they kiss for only a matter of seconds, but it’s also sweet so Harry can’t complain.

They settle to themselves, and Harry tries to keep himself from smiling, but he fails miserably. Nobody says anything after that. They just sit with their bodies pressed together as they stare out beyond.

Only shortly after does he hear Zayn bellow, “Smores!” but he shows no interest in leaving this position until the white objects are being thrown at him.

“Hey!” He shouts, trying to dodge the smores. “Why?”

“Yeah, you’re wasting it!” Louis protests, aggravated. Zayn sits down beside them without bothering to clean his mess. “You could at least pick them up. Beach rules.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “We’re making smores, that’s why I came here. We’re down there.” He gestures to the opposite end of them where there’s a fire and the same three girls from earlier surrounding the pit. “You should join us, unless you want to be alone or something.”

“Count us in… just, clean this up first.”

Somewhere in the middle, Harry’s a bit disappointed that Louis doesn’t want to spend alone time with him, but he’s also glad to get away. He’s afraid of being too clingy and getting too attached, and hanging out in a group might counteract these thoughts.

They greet the girls and gather around the fire. It comes to Harry’s realisation that they’re the only ones on the beach now. Even Liam has left. It’s getting dark out too, but it’s nothing to worry about.

“Why isn’t mine roasting?” Louis says with a groan.

Harry rolls his eyes but smiles. “Get closer.”

“Okay.” Louis moves closer to him, smirking. “Now what?”

Harry smirks too. “I meant the _fire._ ”

Louis obeys and moves his stick closer to the flames, getting a better result now. His body is still pressed to Harry’s, but neither seem to mind.

“Are we going to tell scary stories now? Y’know, be all cliché with the whole campfire deal?” Zayn asks, taking a bite of his roasted marshmallow.

“I dunno, nothing really scares me anymore,” Harry admits. “I watch too much telly.”

“That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.”

They fall into silence, everyone mentally trying to think of something to say. Harry thinks he has an idea but decides it’s stupid and keeps his mouth shut.

“I got it,” Tina breaks the ice. “Okay, so it’s a Saturday night, right? This girl is watching her neighbor’s children, and it’s nighttime so they’re asleep.” She moves closer to the fire so the flames are illuminating the intense expression she’s wearing. “There’s this creepy statue in the living room, and it’s starting to creep her out so she watches TV, you know, to get distracted. The parents set up controls on certain shows, so she decides to call them for the password. ‘Can I cover the clown statue? It’s really freaking me out.’ There’s a really long pause until the father says with fear in his voice, ‘We don't have a clown statue. Get out of the house.’

“The parents rush home, but they’re too late. Everyone was found dead. Nobody really found out what happened to the statue, but some say he comes out at night when you’re alone.”

There is a long pause which everyone spends staring into the fire, wondering where the hell this story came from.

Zayn finally cuts the silence, nodding his head, looking impressed. “That was great.”

“Yeah, especially that last part,” Harry admits, his eyes wandering to the darkness behind the others. Maybe he’s getting paranoid, but he can’t help but feel like they’re being watched.

“I read it online,” Tina replies with a shrug.

Zayn’s a little tense, as is everyone else, but he shakes out of it. “Anything else? I mean, any other stories?”

“I think we should call it a night,” Louis speaks for the first time.

Sabra stands up from where she’s sitting. “Yeah, it’s about time we head back.”

Zayn stands up too. “You mean you’re not staying?”

“Wait, we _are_?” Harry butts in. He doesn’t recall them planning on staying overnight, but he doesn’t recall them having a plan in the first place either.

“Yeah, we brought a tent.”

“What a shame, we didn’t.” Sabra says with muffled sound. “We really gotta go, but thanks for a great day.”

“You have my number, right?”

“Yeah,” Tina responds quickly. “Don’t worry, I’ll text you. Maybe.”

Zayn smirks. “You better.”

The second they leave, Harry and Louis shoot Zayn a look of suspicion, and Harry has a pretty good idea about the conversation they had witnessed.

Zayn gets up from the ground. “I’m gonna get the tent and stuff, so… yeah.”

“I –” Harry begins, but he’s not sure where he’s going, so he lets Zayn walk off. He finishes his marshmallow, hearing Louis sigh beside him. He shoves his hand into their bag, pulling out a more-than-familiar phone. “Is this yours?”

“Yeah.” Harry frowns when he realises it’s vibrating loudly. He answers it, but it’s too late and it’s gone to voicemail. He goes through his messages and sees he’s missed four phone calls. He doesn’t even have to look to see that it’s all from his mum. He groans loudly.

“What’s the matter?” Louis leans into him, looking at the screen. “Oh, fuck. She’s pissed?”

“I dunno. Let me just – fuck.” His phone dies. He tossed it onto the sand carelessly. “So much for that.”

“You can borrow my phone if you want…”

Harry shakes his head. “I’m sure she’s just wondering when I’ll be back. It can wait.”

“Are you sure?”

Louis looks so worried, and Harry can’t keep himself from smiling because he _cared._ “Positive.”

Louis smiles back. “Well, alright. I’m assuming you’ll need clothes for tonight, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for Harry to respond. “Yeah, okay, let’s go.”

Zayn’s setting the guitar back into its case and into the trunk. He pulls out the bag – which Harry assumes is the tent – and moves aside to make way for Louis to grab his things too.

“Here.” Louis tosses him a t-shirt and shorts. “I just thought you might want some… I – Let me know if it’s too weird, I don’t know what I was –”

“It’s fine, Lou.” He doesn’t have to stare long enough at it to realise he’s been handed Batman boxers. Harry chuckles slightly. “Thanks.”

“They’re clean,” Louis quickly tells him. “Just so you know.”

Harry laughs again. “Gotcha.”

“I’m gonna put out the fire, is that okay?” They hear Zayn shout from the distance, but nobody bothers to reply.

Louis hands him some blankets and a pillow. “Take these to the tent.”

“Wow, you really came prepared.”

Louis chuckles. “I have a plan, y’know.”

Together they head back to the camping area, and Harry notices they’re the only ones here, or maybe that’s all he can see right now anyway.

Zayn has the tent set up perfectly, and Harry has to say he’s impressed. If he had been given the job, he’s sure he wouldn’t have gotten it done at all. Perhaps he should give Zayn more credit for his accomplishments.

It’s a relatively small tent, but it’s enough space for the three of them.

Harry unhooks the zipper, and Zayn hands him the flashlight which he takes inside the tent. He lays the blankets out throughout the floor of the inside and tosses the pillows over them correspondingly. Subsequently Harry realises it’s more crowded than he had anticipated which isn’t really a big deal, but it’s something to consider.

“Okay…” Harry eyes the clothes he’s holding. “Give me a sec.”

He closes the zipper, trying to change as fast as possible. He can’t help smirking as he slips on the drawers, a sense of arousal shooting through him when they’re on completely. His heart is racing and all he can think is _holy shit louis has worn these they’ve been over his dick oh my god_ but he tries not to let the thoughts show on his face.

When he opens the tent again, Zayn is quick to comment, “Nice.”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Get inside.”

Zayn listens, rolling into the tent. He moves into the edge of tent, immediately facing the other side so that his face is hidden.

Harry yawns, figuring he’d better give his friend some room. He takes the other side, leaving Louis to sleep in the middle.

He’s still smiling as he presses his legs together to fully feel the underwear against his skin. It’s quite tight on him and does little to hide his already-growing erection. Inside he’s yelling at himself _oh my god get over yourself you’re such a little girl_ but he can’t help how much he’s turned on, and he just wants to relieve himself. Maybe if he ran to the bathroom… No, not again. He knows he’d better get a grip on himself before it went out of hand. He would just have to deal with blue balls tonight.

He hears snoring on the other side and rolls his eyes with the realisation that Zayn’s asleep. He must have been exhausted which isn’t really surprising with the long day. He figures he might as well try and rest too since tomorrow would be even a longer one.

“Hey, is Zayn – oh.”

Harry turns around to flip over to his stomach. He sees Louis’ shadow on the outside of the tent, slowly entering quietly. He sits up with his legs sprawled over the blankets to get a better view, but it takes his eyes a second to adjust to the dark.

Louis closes the zipper, isolating them from the outside world. Harry can see his figure climbing into the open spot, and he can hear the shuffling of his clothes over the blankets.

Harry expects him to stay in place and fall asleep like a normal person, but instead he’s rolling over toward Harry until their skin brushes together.

Harry can see clearly now, and he’s mesmerised by the simplicity of the touch.

He lets out a pained breath and whispers, “Hey.”

“Hey there,” Louis says back.

Harry’s eyes glance down to see Louis’ exposed chest. “You’re not wearing a shirt?”

“I only have one left.”

“Oh.” Harry feels bad now. Maybe Louis should have his…

“It’s hot anyway, so don’t worry about it.”

They don’t say anything for awhile until Louis makes the long-awaited observation. “You look sexy in my underwear.”

Harry’s face goes scarlet, and he’s thankful Louis can’t see him very well. “Thanks, I –” He stops when he feels a hand land on his crotch, further worsening his aroused condition.

“You’re already hard,” Louis says, impressed. He moves his hand away, but Harry’s breath is still hitching and he’s not sure why he’s so hot and bothered when Louis barely touched him.

Harry bites down his lip, trying to avoid looking into those blue, blue eyes. “I… It’s been a while.”

Louis touches his cheek with one hand, grazing it carefully. “Harry,” he mutters. Without warning, he rolls on top of Harry, pressing his thigh between his legs and leaving it there. He attaches their lips together, kissing Harry slowly and cautiously at first. The second Harry begins kissing him back, their tongues enter one another, their mouths opening and closing as they smacked together. Louis tastes like sugar, and it’s really hot in a weird way.

Harry brings his hands over to Louis’ back, touching his bare skin, to press their bodies together firmly. The action causes his legs to drift apart until he’s bucking his hips forward to brush their fabric-covered erections together, only making him _hotter and hotter and hotter._

“Louis…” he moans out, which would normally embarrass him, but he’s too preoccupied now to worry.

Louis is grinding himself over Harry, the feeling of his open chest over Harry, his bulge hitting the rim of his stomach over and over, is enough to drive Harry to insanity and into a hot and messy pulp.

His breaths come out ragged and uneven, and he’s unable to stop his body from staggering into a full and heavy bliss, causing him to grind his body upward to Louis’ faster and faster.

He stops and pulls his mouth away from Louis’, his eyes widening at the sticky feeling below.

“Lou, your boxers. I’m –”

“It’s okay,” Louis says, kissing his lips assuredly. He’s staring at him with a smirk. “You came so fast…”

“Oh.” Harry’s eyes go to his left, trying to hide the shame. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.” Louis shakes his head, pressing his hands against the blankets to hold his body above Harry’s. “That’s actually really… hot.” Harry adjusts his legs to allow Louis to move between them again. He notices the two of them are still hard, and the smirk on the other male’s face shows he’s aware too.

Louis glances down at Harry’s lips, quick to peck them eagerly. “Condoms,” he mutters, rolling his body to the side and out of the tent.

Harry inhales and exhales slowly, trying to catch his breath. He hasn’t shared that level of intimacy with anyone in a long time, or at least it’s something he can’t remember being as powerful. He gulps, moving his legs around which doesn’t do much for the warm mess that’s still there. He wants to take them off, but he’s not sure how appropriate that is for the situation. Although, Louis _did_ say he was getting condoms, so maybe he won’t mind.

He rolls to his side, ignoring the sticky feeling that tickles his legs. He sees that Zayn is still facing the wall of the tent, breathing softly. Harry only hopes he stays asleep…

“Hey,” he hears Louis whisper as he crawls back into the tent. He tosses the square packet onto the ground, immediately pulling Harry into a kiss. It’s a short one and Louis is breathing really hard. “I didn’t have any with me, but I found some in Zayn’s backpack.”

Harry snorts. “Should that surprise me?”

Louis chuckles softly. “Probably not. He’s still asleep, isn’t he?”

“Yeah, unless he’s feigning it.” Harry prays that’s not the case because of Zayn’s threesome scenario earlier. He tries not to think about that though.

“Kiss me,” Louis commands and Harry complies, smashing their lips together forcefully, a groan escaping his lips as he is knocked into the ground again.

He giggles. “Careful.”

“Don’t worry.” Louis pecks him once and pulls away, his hot breath trickling into Harry’s face as he spoke. “’M gonna take care of you.”

Harry’s breath hitches as he adjusts himself over the blankets so that Louis is more comfortable lying on top of him. He sighs loudly, hating this prolonged disgusting feeling.

“Hold on,” he says, pushing him away. Shrugging off the tight boxers, he realises that Louis is helping him, grabbing the waistband and pulling it down and through his legs in a nothing but gentle fashion. Louis tosses it to the side, and his eyes attach to Harry’s exposed skin which causes Harry to blush and grow even more aroused.

“Like what you see?” he teases, smirking.

“Yes,” Louis responds promptly, his hands running over and underneath Harry’s (Louis’) shirt until they venture to his stomach and down his waist. He’s stroking the skin around Harry’s raging erection which is the ultimate tease because Harry just craves for the touch so much.

“Now what I wanna know is,” Louis begins, proceeding to rub the inside of Harry’s thighs. “If I give you head, will you come?”

Harry doesn’t even have to think about his response. “Yes.”

Louis nods his head, smirking. “Alright, guess we can’t do that then.”

“What? Why?” Harry spouts out quickly, absolutely appalled that Louis is going to deny him his pleasure.

Louis grazes his fingertips over Harry’s hips, using the features of his fingers selectively to really put him at ease. “Do you think you can handle finishing three times?”

“I – What? I don’t know…” He stares at the ground with shame. He’s never even came twice in a row, how is he supposed to go for three? Granted he _is_ with Louis, and it’s safe to say his hormones are off the track tonight, maybe he really can do it. “I’ll try?”

That’s Louis’ cue to begin, and he doesn’t hesitate to push his body backward and leave his hands over Harry’s lips to get a comfortable angle. He connects his mouth to the head of Harry’s cock while Harry moves his legs further apart so Louis could get closer. As his tongue wavers it with quick licks, Harry’s already struggling not to moan or make any kind of sound at all.

He looks down at Louis who’s staring back him, cheeks hollow, lips caked with saliva, and those _blue, blue eyes._ He finds himself throwing his hips forward, thrusting freely into Louis’ mouth. Although he’s still feeling a little shy, believe it or not, somehow his hands end up in the brunet hair, his fingertips dancing over Louis’ scalp.

Whether or not it’s his precum or Louis’ saliva, the friction is intensifying and Harry is falling into a frenzy.He hears Louis gag and Harry elicits a silent moan as Louis takes everything in his mouth, bobbing his head strategically. As he goes down on him, a hand wraps over his balls, squeezing them as he blows him, which is all suddenly becoming too much.

“Okay, I – Louis –”

Right on cue, he removes his mouth, nodding his head in understanding. Louis isn’t going to wear him out. They _do_ have a long day tomorrow, after all.

Instead their lips press together and somehow Harry ended on top of the other boy this time. Harry kisses him freely, letting his hands wander around his body, his lips traveling from his mouth to his cheeks to his neck. He kisses Louis’ open chest, his tongue wandering over those perfect, perfect collarbones and over his nipples, causing Louis’ breathing to go shaky and uneven, and that only pleases Harry more.

Harry slides his body backward, nearly hitting the tent in the process. He’s quick to pull Louis’ trousers down and he doesn’t even get them down all the way before wrapping his mouth over him, sucking slowly yet roughly, causing Louis to let out a soft moan. As Harry flicks his tongue over his head, he applies pressure over the slit which leads to Louis throwing his head back and sighing blissfully.

With a free hand, he works himself but makes sure he does it slowly and carefully so he doesn’t finish. While doing so, he fully takes Louis in his mouth, trying to capture as much of him possible. He allows his tongue to lick over Louis’ shaft, and Harry can tell this drives him crazy by the way he’s grasping onto Harry’s locks of hair and thrusting his hips wildly.

Harry sits up then, deciding he would be a cock tease and leave Louis unsatisfied, mostly because he isn’t really sure if the guy _wanted_ to finish yet.

“Harry…” Louis drones on, pulling him forcefully onto his lap and kissing him passionately. They break away for a second to catch their breaths but fall together even breathless than before. 

“Need to see you right now, fuck. Need you to bend for me. Can you do that?

Harry can only nod before flipping on his back, landing his hands on a pillow for better anchorage. He lets out a breathy sigh with his chest pressed into the blankets.

He hears Louis say, “This is gonna hurt a lot.”

“Oh,” is all Harry can manage to say, not because the realisation is startling to him, but because he doesn’t really know what else to say.

Louis lets out a sigh, dropping his body beside Harry’s. “I have a confession to make.” Harry turns to face him, trying to look for any sign in the boy’s face. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Me neither.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.” Louis lets out a small laugh, but his face drops again. “We don’t have to – you know, do anything…”

“But I want to,” Harry mumbles under his breath.

“You do?”

Harry bites his lip, trying to hide the blush forming on his face. “I mean, if you want to… I don’t know.”

Louis smirks. “Considering I went through the cold for condoms, stark naked I might add…” He stops and looks at Harry. “I do.”

Harry gulps. “Okay.”

“Nervous?”

“A little.”

Louis rolls his body over to lift the square packet. He’s quick to take the condom out of the wrapper and turn back to Harry. It’s very rare and actually really cute how Louis is acting so nervous about it.

“Have you ever fingered yourself?”

Harry’s face goes scarlet and suddenly he’s afraid to answer.

Louis chuckles. “I’m about to fuck you, I think you can tell me anything right now.”

Somehow, the boldness of his words made Harry more comfortable, as weird as that was. He sighs, already imagining their bodies intertwined. “I… yeah. I have.”

“Do you think you could maybe…?” Louis begins, again in a nervous tone. “Shit, I need lube…” He ponders for a minute, looking absolutely frustrated. “I’ll be back.”

After Louis leaves, Harry stays put, sighing with impatience. He’s growing tired, and he’s afraid if Louis doesn’t return soon, he’s going to fall asleep.

He tosses from his side back to his stomach realizing he’s still naked and insufficiently hard. Remembering what Louis had told him, he mentally shrugs to himself deciding the sooner he’s ready, the better.

And with that thought, Harry sticks his finger in his mouth, pulling it out with a pop and shoving it between his legs. He allows the cool liquid to gather over his hole before bringing himself to pop a finger in. He feels around the velvety warmth, panting heavily at the pain that surfaces. Pulling out and back in, he tries to get a rhythm going without pushing too deep. He has Louis for that.

Groaning silently, he eases the pain enough to slip in a second finger. He rocks back, spreading his legs out further to give himself a better angle. He nearly jumps when he hears the zipper coming undone.

Harry stares at Louis with astonishment, quickly moving both of his hands to his sides. “I…” He blushes. “Did you find it?”

Louis shakes his head, dropping his body to the floor. “Guess I’m going in dry.”

Harry looks at him with panic in his eyes.

Louis chuckles. “Kidding.” He sets a hand over Harry’s thigh, his gaze wavering from his legs to back at Harry. “We have other options. Now are you all opened up for me?”

Harry nods sheepishly, feebly settling himself on the ground. The second he’s facing Louis, he’s pulling him close, locking their lips together into a deep, fervent kiss which intensifies so quickly that Harry is quick to sink beneath Louis’ smaller figure, their bodies colliding roughly. Louis kisses down Harry’s neck, over his collarbones, running his hands over his chest before shifting back to his mouth, pasting a quick kiss before moving away.

Harry isn’t sure how they’re going to do this so he stays in place, watching as Louis places the rubber over his cock, stroking himself a bit to get situated.

Louis turns back to him on his knees with glassed eyes and dilated pupils, simply the sight making Harry feel alive.

“Spread your legs,” Louis orders, using his hands to push his thighs apart for the perfect entry. Harry’s breath catches in his throat at the gentle touch, and he can’t resist focusing all his attention on those blue orbs telling him exactly what he wants to hear.

Louis drops to the ground completely, positioning his body closer to Harry’s. He takes his legs in his hands moving them upward which, Harry notes, causes his cock to rest against his stomach. It’s an odd position, but that’s the last thing on his mind as Louis began pressing his tip inside, causing Harry to quiver at the pain.

Louis allows one of his legs to dangle into his elbow, using his open hand to caress the boy’s face. “Relax, love. I’ll go slow.”

As Louis pushes deeper, going slow as promised, Harry closes his fists, throwing his head back to hit the pillow. He groans silently, wishing there didn’t have to be so much pain.

“Lou… It hurts…” He chokes out.

“I can stop anytime, Haz –”

“No, don’t,” Harry says quickly, breaths coming out faster and faster. Louis thrusts into him, suddenly a new feeling coming over him. “It’s starting to feel… good.”

“That’s… good…” Louis says with a moan stringing to the end of his sentence. Tightening his grip on Harry’s legs, he shifts himself forward, bucking his hips roughly into Harry, causing Harry’s body to mimic his actions, moving forward and back.

Harry wraps his legs around Louis’ waist, so Louis could enter him completely. Their bodies tangled together, their hips colliding in sync with trembling hands and shaky pants, Harry arches his back to meet Louis’ thrusts, the desire to feel him completely and everywhere driving him insane.

“Harry, I – fuck,” Louis starts, speaking between gasps of air. “This whole year I have – I just never – I could – never talk to you. I liked you though – I always thought – you were so cute, and I – fuck.” He cuts off with a loud moan, fully ramming into Harry, thoroughly dipping his head down to meet Harry’s bouncing erection. “Even now  I –”

Harry can hardly pay attention to a word Louis is saying because his every being is just thinking _louislouislouis_ and he’s just so focused on this beautiful boy on top of him that he can’t be bothered to think of anything else.

He groans loudly when Louis hit his special spot, causing warmth to spread through him, his body writhing into a frenzy. “Fuck, Louis!”

“Shh, you’ll wake Zayn!”

But neither consider the possibilities and continue to be vocal about their pleasure. Louis finds his prostate and hits it again and again until Harry is literally dissolving beneath him.

“Coming,” Louis chokes out.

The second Harry feels the warmth inside him, the knowledge that Louis had spilled everything he had is enough to have him shooting lines of white forward, splattering over his stomach as well as Louis’, which is fascinating because he hadn’t touched his dick once.

Louis still hasn’t bothered to pull out, instead pulling himself down to peck Harry’s lips eagerly, breathing hot hair into his face. “I love you, wow, that was – amazing.”

Harry’s breaths stop short, and he stares at the glassy blue eyes for what feels like eternity. His heart is racing, and he’s at a loss for words. He wants to ask Louis and question why he said that. How can Louis possibly love him? They have only known each other for a day. Louis can’t possibly be thinking _that_ highly of him.

But Harry is left speechless and finds it hard to do anything else except nod and smile. He’s fully aware of the possibilities if this thing or whatever they have goes wrong, but he chooses to ignore that. So he pushes his thoughts aside, thinks about Louis’ soft lips, and urges himself to sit up and draw him into a long and meaningful kiss.

Louis sways to Harry’s left side leaving his hand to graze his chest which tingles at the very touch. He let out a hushed sigh, lying with stillness. Louis’ lips travel along his neck, causing a delay in Harry’s breathing. He allows himself to drop his arm over Louis’ back, pulling him closer until there is no free space between them.

He hears a sound coming from his right which has him turning to see Zayn with his hands down his pants.

Almost frantically Harry pushes the boy off of him to sit up and throw the blankets over his lap, panting heavily. Louis is frowning and his eyes have widened, but he isn’t saying anything.

“Zayn, what the fuck?” Harry brings himself to say, wondering what the hell just happened.

Unexpectedly, Zayn’s hand remains under, and he continues to work himself, moaning softly. Harry glances back at Louis who’s shooting him a mixed look of confusion and disgust. He’s too tired to think, but he is sure of one thing. The fact that Zayn is getting off to the two of them together is a little strange, and maybe it’s an indication that they’re all spending a little too much time together.

Finally Zayn’s hands are back to his sides, and he’s back under the covers. He sighs and looks at them. “Next time, _try_ to be quiet?”

Harry’s face tints red and he’s almost positive he wants to curl up and die. Instead of responding in a witty way, he turns around and finds himself gathering into Louis’ arms, instantly forgetting the awkward encounter. 


	3. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry didn’t expect his graduation to end with a road trip, and he certainly didn’t expect to reunite with his old crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Includes some non-con smut, but it’s mostly just an awkward threesome. Sorry again for the word count.

 Harry flips over to his stomach, seeing the light illuminating through the tent. He yawns, his eyes searching for Louis who isn’t lying on either side of him. He stretches his arms and the second he brings himself to sit up, the pain is shooting through him, causing him to fall back onto the ground.

“Shit,” he mutters, but even at that he finds himself smiling as he remembers the memories that entailed the soreness and almost made it worth it.

His eyes wander around the tent until they land on the brunet lad buried next to Zayn. A flash of jealousy soars through Harry as he makes his way over to him, immediately shaking him.

“Mmmf,” Louis muffles out, shaking his hand loosely toward him as a gesture to go away. Then he proceeds to move _even closer_ to Zayn like has no fucking clue how it’s affecting Harry.

He groans silently, deciding he might as well use the toilet. He’s about to leave the tent when he realises he’s completely naked and that there might be people outside. Since he doesn’t want to risk getting arrested for indecent exposure, he slips on a shirt he finds in the corner of their tent as well as Louis’ undies (the clean ones).

After about ten minutes in the showers Harry starts for the tent, dirty clothes clustered together in his hands. He returns to see that the tent is gone as well as their entire campsite. Frantically starting toward the car, he has the slightest suspicion that his friends have abandoned him.

Luckily he finds Lou’s car in its same parking slot, and he breathes an air of relief as he hurries to tap his hands on the windows hoping for some kind of sign. He receives no answer, and his impatience leaves him wearily slumping his body against the back of the Toyota, deciding Zayn and Louis are showering, but hopefully not together – God, the very thought leaves Harry a jumbled mess, and he doesn’t even want to consider it.

He finds his phone in his pocket (He takes a second to question how it has found its way back into his jeans from the previous day when he’d last seen it with Louis, but he figures it’s just a coincidence.) and begins his failed attempt at turning it on before he remembers it shut off the previous night due to his careless attitude.

He sighs, shoving his phone back down his pants and staring ahead to see the black-haired lad making his way ahead, his hair sleek and wet, wearing clean clothing. Harry can’t say he’s surprised in the least.

“Morning, mate,” Zayn greets him, taking a second to shake his head onto Harry, the beads of water hitting Harry’s face and arms, causing him to suppress a groan.

“Morning,” he mumbles, rubbing his arms dry. “How’d you sleep?” He grimaces, remembering their sleeping arrangement this morning.

“Like a baby. Shame I didn’t have anyone to sleep with,” Zayn says, moving to stand beside Harry. He snorts. “Okay, I swear I didn’t mean it like that, but well – I think you got it.”

“I dunno, you seemed very cuddly this morning…”

Zayn raises an eyebrow, swiping his tongue across his lips. “What’s wrong? Jealous?” Harry opens his mouth to defend himself, but Zayn shakes his head promptly. “Well, why would you be even a little jealous? He’s fucking you for God’s sake.”

Harry’s face goes scarlet, but he tries to hide his pleased expression. “It was just a one-time thing.”

“Are you sure about that?”

He shrugs, not really sure where their boundaries stand now. “I don’t want to rush him into anything… For all I know this is all probably just some summer fling. I don’t even know if I want a relationship –”

“Hey, now, take it easy,” Zayn warns him. “There’s nothing to worry about. Like I said, this is a road trip. School’s out and we’re going to have the best fucking time of our lives.”

“You mean it’s not over yet?” Harry doesn’t mean for it to sound like he’s referring to Louis, but in a way, he is.

Zayn smirks. “It’s only just begun.”

Harry nods his head. “So I guess it’s correct to assume I’m not returning home tonight either?”

“Yep.”

“Alright then.” He looks down at the shore, wondering why there is nobody here. Maybe because it’s almost noon and it’s the day after college is out and it’s expected that everyone is hung-over.

“Where’s Louis?”

“Having a wank,” Zayn replies instantly.

“Really?” Harry isn’t sure why he sounds surprised.

“No, he’s showering. Why the fuck would he do that when he has you?”

Harry can’t help the smile forming at the crease of his lips, and he simply shakes his head. “Oh, piss off.”

“I speak the truth.” Zayn shrugs, pulling his body away from the metal surface. “Oh look, there he is.”

Harry looks in Zayn’s direction, and just as he said, a very chirpy Louis is making his way to him, a glimmer of joy in his eyes made evident with the bright smile he wore. He’s wearing blue chinos with a black t-shirt reading “Leeds Festival”, and all in all, it’s a different look for him but has Harry drooling over him with admiration.

“Shall we go, chaps?”

“We shall indeed!” Zayn cheers, catching the keys that Louis randomly throws at him. “I’m driving again?”

Louis nods, frowning because isn’t it obvious? “Is there a problem?”

“Well no, but –”

“Then get to it, Malik,” Louis remarks, turning back to look at Harry. He smiles and glances at the ground then back at Harry, a very sheepish smile at that, almost as if he’s too shy to have any other expression. He cranes his neck further inward, starting to lean in to Harry. Louis’ lips brush against his hair (or at least Harry assumes it’s his lips, but does it really matter?) and Harry hears a small sniffing sound followed by Louis pulling away with even a bigger grin.

“Your hair smells nice. Like… apples.”

Harry returns his smile, raising an eyebrow in uncertainty. “Thanks?”

“Enough of this lovey-dovey dope, get in the fucking car before I blow a fucking circuit,” Zayn hollers, slamming the front door shut.

“What’s his problem?” Louis asks.

Harry’s lips furrow to make a grin. “Don’t mind him. _He_ didn’t get laid last night.” There’s a moment of silence which sends Harry into panic and instant regret. Is it too soon to be making jokes? Harry doesn’t want Louis to think he sleeps around or only thinks of sex as meaningless fun.

Laughter spurts out of Louis (more of a slight chuckle, really) which is a sign that he isn’t taking it seriously, more-so understanding Harry’s somewhat fair sense of humour. And Harry can’t help the way his breath constricts in his throat because Louis just looks so beautiful when he laughs, and the way the crinkles by his eyes correlate with his laughter is enough to cause Harry’s heart to pulsate faster.

“I really –” Harry stops to clear the raspy feeling in his throat. “I really want to kiss you – like right now.”

Since it’s a rather intense and bold way of getting Harry’s thoughts across, he really expects Louis to drop his grin and fall into an intense gaze with him, but instead Louis is still giggling as his eyes land over Harry’s which causes him to giggle as well.

Harry is grinning so wide he’s almost positive he looks like a complete nutcase, but strangely enough, he can’t exactly bring himself to care. He extends his hands forward until he brings them over to wrap over Louis’ waist, pulling the slim boy close to him so their bodies are pressed together.

Surprisingly Louis is still _giggling_ and Harry thinks it’s possibly the cutest sound in the world, and he can’t resist smashing their lips together in the softest manner, Louis’ giggles pressing against his mouth, causing Harry to shake his head at his expense. He kisses him again, and he thinks he could do this for the rest of his life.

A loud honking sound brings their laughter and sneaked kisses to a halt as the two rush to get into the car before Zayn _completely_ loses it. Zayn is muttering nonsense about his hatred for couples while Louis calls him a homophobic bastard which all, of course, makes absolutely no sense. Regardless of the spouts of pointless chaos around him, Harry finds he can only smile and think of kissing Louis.

“Where are we going?” Louis asks after a while. His head is leaning over Harry’s shoulder, and Harry sits and stares at the signs along the road.

“Southampton,” Zayn responds as he swerves them into a different lane.

“Why? Oh. Niall.”

Harry turns his head to face Louis. “Niall?”

Louis licks his lips. “He went to our school like two years ago. I don’t think you know him.”

“No, probably not.” Harry shrugs it off, suddenly wondering what Louis’ friends would think if they saw him now, hanging out with plain and simple Harry who has nothing special to offer. He shakes away the thought though, not wanting to allow his insecurities to put a damper on his joyful mood.

“He’s having a graduation party tonight and I told him I’d try to make it,” Zayn further explains. “It’s like a three hour drive, so you’d better get comfy. Not that you’ll have any problem with that.”

Louis shoots Harry a wink then arches his back to sit himself up. “Turn up the radio, will ya?”

The music begins playing unexpectedly louder than necessary, which causes Harry to jump in his seat and cover his hands over his ears.

“Jesus fuck, you’re going to blind us!” Louis shouts over the volume which is lowered halfway through his sentence. His face red, he falls back into his seat. “I meant deafen… Whatever.”

“At least you tried,” Harry assures him, but only for the sake of being a little shit, the one opportunity Harry always takes advantage of.

“Fuck off.”

Harry winks. “Later.”

Louis pouts, looking like he’s trying too hard to look depressed. “Why not now?”

“Because… Zayn’s here.”

Louis raises an eyebrow, smirking in disbelief. “I’m sure he doesn’t mind. In fact, I think he’s more than delighted. Am I right?”

Zayn doesn’t anything, so Harry assumes he didn’t hear it.

Instead he lets out a breathy sigh and sits up in his seat, rubbing his thighs as a gesture to move on from the slightly provocative conversation.

“I still feel bad about chemistry,” Harry finds himself pointing out, simply for the sake of having something to talk about. “It must have been embarrassing.”

Louis shrugs. “Not really, actually. My girlfriend at the time was the only one who chewed me out for it. She thought I was wanking during class. Silly, innit?”

Harry tries to swallow the laughs escaping his mouth but finds the hand covering his mouth useless to dissolve his laughter. “Should I apologise for that too?”

“Nah, I think it turned her on.”

Harry’s look of amusement instantly fell, a feeling of jealousy falling over him as he repeatedly reminds himself that there is nothing to grieve over. The past is the past and nothing can be changed.

“I never fucked her, by the way,” Louis suddenly says as if that’s his way of assuring Harry that he’s the only one or something cliché of that sort.

Harry doesn’t really have the words to say so he just blanks out, letting his eyes drift outside the window to the beautiful landscape of southern England.

“She gave me a lot of head, though.”

The words immediately have Harry’s heart jolting in his chest, but he tries to ignore the aching pain, instead focusing on the shapes of the clouds in the sky.

“It felt really good. Her mouth over me, y’know.”

Harry clenches his fists to his sides and breathes sharply, wanting Louis to _stop._

“She wore lip gloss most of the time which really added to the friction. It was so fucking hot.”

 _Shut the fuck up,_ Harry thinks as he desperately tries to compose himself so he doesn’t start shouting at Louis. But the more he keeps talking, the more Harry wants to smash their lips together and show him who he belongs to.

Instead of giving in to Louis’ obvious attempt at trying to make him jealous (which is obviously working because Harry is seriously pissed off), he decides he might as well try to get even.

“I fucked my last girlfriend,” Harry says, a smirk forming on his face.

Louis raises an eyebrow, as if the idea of Harry fucking a girl is impossible. More than anything, though, he just looks really disinterested.

So Harry continues, grinning as he speaks, “It was the _best sex of my life.”_

Louis tilts his head, shifting his position on his seat, looking genuinely interested now. “Is that so?”

Harry nods. “We fucked nonstop. I came three times that night.”

“Impressive.”

“Yeah.” Harry shrugs like it’s no big deal.

“I fucked this girl last summer,” Louis adds, causing Harry to cringe simply at the mention of a girl. “She was really hot and had huge tits.”

“Did she come?”

“Every time.”

Harry huffs a breath, crossing his arms in annoyance. He honestly doesn’t know how he’s supposed to top that, and he figures Louis has already won this argument.

“I have a confession to make,” Zayn says from the front. “My experiences aren’t exactly comparable to yours.”

Harry’s eyes widen at the realisation. “Wait, you mean…?”

“I’m a virgin, yes.”

Harry is surprised at the least. Zayn has always been the player in his group of friends, and finding out he hasn’t slept with anyone is quite shocking. Perhaps Harry has misjudged him…

Hearing the truth makes him feel guilty because Zayn is being totally honest with him while Harry is lying to impress Louis. He decides that if Louis really likes him, he’ll accept him no matter what.

So he sighs and says, “I don’t have a whole lot of experiences either. I’ve only ever slept with one girl in the past.” It isn’t exactly something he wants to remember either.

Louis scoffs. “I knew you were lying. It was so obvious.”

“Oh, shut it.” Harry’s face flushes red, and now, more than anything, he just wants to stop talking to Louis because his anger has reached the extent where it’s impossible to control. “Excuse me for having a little class. Not all of us fuck everything in our sight.”

The second the words leave his mouth he regrets it more than ever.

Louis stares at him blankly, then nods his head slowly. “I understand where you would get that impression.”

“Louis, I didn’t mean –”

“No, no.” Louis shakes his head. “It’s understandable. That’s why you never spoke to me in school, right? Because I’m a slut.”

Harry wants to take back everything he’s said in the past five minutes because he’s always been one to have unbiased judgments on everyone. Just because someone has had sex doesn’t make them a bad person and just because someone hasn’t had sex doesn’t make them a prude.

Harry sighs, picking his words out carefully. “I don’t care how much sex you’ve had. That doesn’t make you a slut.”

Louis shakes his head, raising the tone of his voice. “Whatever. Just – leave me alone.”

Harry stares at him for a brief moment, watching as his head rocks against the window. Louis’ eyes are averted away from his, and it’s clear he wants to be left alone.

Zayn shoots him a look in the mirror which says _well this is awkward._

Harry suppresses a sigh and turns to his window, staring at their surroundings boringly. He finds it hard to believe that they’re honestly upset over this when it had started out as innocent teasing and jealousy. If this is their first fight, Harry wants it to be over.

He isn’t sure what to do so he continues to look outside, thinking of nothing but his imperfections and insecurities only to make himself feel worse about everything. He only mopes and grovels until he decides he might as well try to apologise.

Harry scoots over to Louis until their legs are brushing. For a second he’s afraid Louis is going to move away or tell him to fuck off or something of that sort, but Louis just flinches slightly, keeping his disheartened gaze far from Harry.

“Lou.” Harry pats his knee, but he won’t budge. “Look at me.”

Louis’ leg shakes away from Harry’s touch, and he adjusts his body so he’s sitting up on his seat probably as an attempt to appear taller than Harry, which actually fails miserably because Harry can still see over his head.

“I’m sorry,” he decides to say, but still receiving nothing. “I only made up those lies to make you jealous. But I know what I said is unforgivable.”

Louis finally tilts his head to the left, still a blank look to his face. “You were jealous?”

“No. I mean – yes.” He snaps his eyes shut, wanting to take away the awkward tension radiating from him. “I’m still sorry about the other stuff.”

Louis sighs, fully turning himself to face Harry now. “I didn’t really fuck all those girls. Actually, I –” He stops and shakes his head.

“You what?”

“Up until last night, I was a virgin.”

It takes a second, but Harry nods his head with understanding. If that is the case he wonders why Louis had acted so defensive to being called a slut. Not that being a virgin can’t make him a slut – Oh, for fuck’s sake, Harry doesn’t even know what he’s thinking anymore.

There is still a dissatisfied look to Louis’ face, and Harry wants to say something to make it disappear. So he clears his throat and makes his attempt. “Virgin or not, I think you’re amazing.” Louis looks more hopeful now, but Harry isn’t finished. “And I’m sorry I never talked to you in college. I was so shy – I still am – and you intimidated me. You still do.”

“Really?” Louis exclaims. “Because _I_ was intimidated by _you._ ”

“Huh.”

Harry’s just too surprised to really say anything else because why the hell would _anyone_ be intimidated by him? It’s not that Harry is desperate for friends or always comes off as a friendly person, but he is usually approachable. Nobody should be afraid to talk to him, certainly not Louis.

Louis’ hand settles under his chin, and he’s moving so fast that Harry doesn’t realise their lips are connecting, moving together as if it’s routine even though it’s only been their third or fourth kiss.

The heat grows increasingly fast and Harry’s shirt has somehow ended up on the floor of the car with Louis’ is in the process of being brought up and over his head. As Harry’s body piles on top of the other boy’s and they kiss fervently, he remembers that Zayn is watching and more than likely enjoying this more than he should.

Harry trails kisses along Louis’ jaw and down his body until his mouth finds the waistband of his shorts, yanking them down and quick to put his mouth over him, sucking him eagerly, the inhuman moans escaping Louis’ mouth as Harry goes down on him.

Harry is so focused on his movements over Louis’ cock that he doesn’t notice the car has stopped and Zayn is undressing himself. He’s in the process of licking the shaft up and down when Zayn moves past him to settle over Louis’ chest. Harry’s tongue continues to dance over the tip of Louis’ cock when he hears Zayn murmur, “ _God, yes. Fuck. Yes, yes, yes.”_

He sits upright, looking over Zayn’s shoulder to see his cock bouncing into Louis’ mouth, pain and anguish stinging through him. He wants to cry.

Furious, Harry pushes Zayn aside, throwing himself onto Louis’ body. He joins their lips together, forgetting Zayn’s existence entirely. His hands trail up and down Louis’ back until he’s clawing his nails into his skin. It’s not exactly a lovebite, but with Harry’s fury, it’s his special way of showing his ownership.

Harry turns to his side to see Zayn sitting still, staring at the two of them. He’s in the process of dressing himself, but his presence is awkward altogether.

Zayn sighs, quickly slipping on his dark jeans. “Sorry about that.”

Harry begins dressing himself as well, finding it a little too unreal that the three are all naked together. “Why?”

Zayn shrugs. “I was bored. And horny. And to be fair, Louis didn’t seem to care.”

Anger pulsated in Harry’s veins as he clenches his hand into a fist. “Well, he does _now._ ”

“Okay.” Zayn raises his hands defensively, opening the car door. “You two carry on. I’m not even here.”

For a second Harry’s worried he’s pissed Zayn off, and that Zayn is going to walk off into nowhere, but he figures he deserves it. After ruining their intimate moment Zayn deserves to be alone because that had been _revolting._

His thoughts stop short when Zayn flings the front door open, quick to start the engine. Harry views their surroundings, noticing they’re at a rest station. He’s slightly baffled until it hits him – Duh. They couldn’t possibly fool around if there wasn’t someone at the wheel.

Harry reclines his back against the seat, letting out a deep sigh. He glances over at Louis who sits motionlessly but makes it evident that he’s watching Harry intently.

Subsequently, Harry is staring back and for once it’s a look of endearment as opposed to the usual _I really want to have sex with you_ and it’s kind of nice. Or at least he takes it as an affectionate gaze, and that’s what has his stomach unsettling as he tries to contain himself and the emotions he is still unsure of.

The awkward tension that had settled in the car seconds ago has now vanished, leaving nothing but peaceful silence as they continue with their drive. Harry rocks his head against the window trying not to fall asleep, though there really is no reason to avoiding doing so; Zayn _had_ said it would be a three hour drive.

Despite the brief panic attacks that have been flooding Harry’s mind this morning, he’s in a somewhat satisfied mood. With Louis sitting beside him and the hushed quiet in the interior as opposed to the soft grinding of the tires making impact with the road, it is all exceptionally relaxing and brings Harry to shut his eyes for a brief moment, if that.

“I’m hungry,” a soft voice disrupts Harry’s leisure but he finds he can’t appear to mind in the slightest. Louis suppresses a yawn, folding his hands together over his legs as he extends himself to the edge of his seat, flicking the back of Zayn’s seat in a repetitive motion.

“’S’pose we could stop and eat, yeah?”

Harry has to admit that he’s surprised at Zayn’s calmness to everything, especially after his attempt to intrude on such private circumstances. He evaluates the reasons as to why Zayn had bothered trying to join in but also finds himself not surprised in the least. If anything, Harry has been expecting him to act recklessly at some point.

They stop at a diner in the middle of nowhere (or at least that’s what the landscape surrounding the  diminutive building tells them), and Harry orders a burger and chips which Louis _insists_ they share. Harry just shrugs and complies, deciding he can’t eat all this fast food all by himself, without getting sick, anyway.

“For the last time, I didn’t even get her number, okay?” Zayn snaps at Louis, taking a furious bite out of his hot dog.

Louis, his actions easily predictable, laughs. “Relax, I was just asking a question.”

“A stupid one.”

“Oh, cry about it.”

“Tosser.”

Harry chews on his food slowly in a way to quench his hunger since he hasn’t eaten since the previous night. It’s funny how he’s been so caught up in this trip and all things Louis that the simplest of life’s details have slipped away from him. Maybe that’s what cute boys did to him.

He finds himself blushing at the thought because never in his life did he think he would ever spend even a second with someone like Louis. It’s especially shocking considering he’s known the kid for years, and it had to have been Zayn to bring the two together. So yeah, maybe Harry likes him a little more than he should due to the realisation that maybe he’s been lucky the past day (and a half?), but let’s not jump to conclusions.

“You tit, I hope you die,” Louis says, giggles rising from his throat, the very sound snapping Harry out of his pathetic thoughts.

Something compels him to speak, but he isn’t quite sure what. Maybe it’s that Zayn is making Louis giggle so profoundly or maybe that Harry is hungry for Louis’ attention yet again, but nothing stops him from cracking his oh-so-terrible joke which he knows he’ll regret later.

“What do you call a cow with no legs?”

Two pairs of eyes land on him, staring at him and awaiting the answer.

A smile tugs at Harry’s lips, and to his amusement, he finds himself urging them, “Guess!”

Louis frowns, looking somewhat frightened to answer. “Dead?”

Harry shakes his head, his grin growing wider and wider. He raises his hands in the air and bellows, “Ground beef!”

Nobody laughs.

Harry awkwardly hangs his head in shame, taking a sip of his drink. This is just one of the instances where it had sounded a lot better when played out his mind.

Louis wears a forced grin. “Oh, I get it. It falls to the ground because it doesn’t have legs. That was a good one.” He slaps Harry’s arm playfully which causes him to smirk in accordance to Louis’ actions.

“Nice save.”

“What are you talking about? That was hilarious.”

Harry raises an eyebrow which is really all it takes to get Louis to fall in a fit of the fakest chuckles he’s ever heard. His expression sobers, and he sighs with defeat.

“At least you tried?” He pats Harry on the back (more like grazing his fingertips across the fabric and causing his heart to melt like ice cream left out in the sun, but Harry isn’t enjoying his touch _that_ much).

“Yeah, whatever.”

Harry tries to make it subtle – he really does – but he gives in to the temptation to scoot slightly over just so he can have his shoulder brush Louis’ because for some reason the inches of space between them seem too much. How hard his heart is pounding is rather sickening because he really shouldn’t be nervous to move closer to Louis. In fact, he should be able to do anything he wants without worrying how it would affect the other boy. Granted this thinking does nothing to calm Harry’s nerves, he is now disappointed in himself because of how much trouble he’s having with their proximity considering they have been even closer before. For some reason the simple touches and gestures are the most intimate of all physical contact and that’s what makes Harry the most nervous.

Eventually he is able to complete the impossible task, and he finds himself gulping his worries as he settles into the subtle contact. In a way it’s almost like a connection, and Harry is sure Louis is aware of it too. Sex is really something, but _this_ goes beyond anything Harry’s ever known. And it’s fucking terrifying.

Zayn’s going on about how badly he slept the previous night while Louis makes it clear that he’s not listening with his occasional comments of “yeah” and a surplus of nodding. Harry, obviously, isn’t paying even a grain of attention to his friend, instead trying to scoot back to his original spot because feeling the warmth radiating from Louis’ arm is becoming too much.

A hand is dropped on his thigh, which causes Harry to stir in his seat. He tries to keep his breathing constant, but Louis’ grip on his leg is tightening, and he’s squeezing his thigh now. His face is more flustered than necessary (but when _is_ blushing necessary, let’s be real), and Harry can feel his cock twitching in his jeans as Louis’ hand strokes his leg gently, slowly trailing higher and higher until he is tracing the outline of his dick. It takes Harry everything to keep his mouth shut.

A small squeaking sound leaves his lips which Louis manages to cover by clearing his throat. His hand leaves Harry and drops back at his side. He smiles at the two boys innocently, gathering the remnants of his food together.

“Ready?”

They walk outside and are greeted by a cool breeze, but it’s nothing they can’t handle. Harry wipes his hands on the back of his jeans in case of any grease left on his fingers.

“I’m really energetic right now, is that weird?” Louis says randomly. “Because I’m usually really sleepy after I eat – digestion and all – so like, yeah.”

Zayn rolls the key ring on his finger, crossing one leg over the other. “Maybe you should drive then. Since you’re not tired, yeah?”

“But,” Louis stops to glance briefly at Harry, a look of disappointment revealed on his face. He sighs, taking the keys from Zayn. “Fine.”

Harry can’t lie and say he isn’t disappointed because he has been really looking forward to spending the duration of this trip with Louis. On the other hand, there is still that part of him urging him not to get too attached because of the off-chance he will only hurt himself in the end. He decides that maybe it’s best he has some time away from Louis because, well, let’s face it. Zayn deserves some attention too. And no, not sexually speaking. That’s never to be mentioned again.

Brushing his hand against the handle to the car, he prepares himself to open the door, when the locks are undone. Louis walks past him to get to the front and whispers seductively, “Sit with me.”

And of course Harry can’t say no, so he finds himself releasing his hold on the handle and, instead, moving to the passenger seat. The second he’s strapped in, the complaints begin.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Zayn groans.

“What’s the matter?” Louis drops his hands on his lap in defeat.

Zayn shakes his head. “You two are clinging to each other like you can’t be away for five minutes.”

For some reason this immediately sets Harry off. And maybe it has a little to do with how Zayn has pointed out Harry’s biggest worry, and the realisation that even someone else is aware of it worries him all the more.

“Can we go?” He begs, tension in his voice.

Louis glances at him almost sadly but obeys. The awkward silence that surfaces during the long drive has Harry’s head drifting into endless thoughts that have him hating Zayn for knowing him too well, more-so hating himself.

Instead of talking about it with his friends, Harry insists on turning to his favorite radio station to play some of his favourite tunes. Unfortunately, his luck runs short due to the lack of festivity the song has to offer with its unoriginal chord progressions and repetitive vocals. Still, it doesn’t bother him enough to turn it off since anything is better than the harsh silence.

“Oi, Zayn? Can I ask you for a favour? Or two?” Louis says in a soft voice. He doesn’t wait for a response. “Stay away from my cock. And Harry’s.”

Harry’s jaw drops, and he has to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from bursting into outrageous laughter.

“If it’s not too much to ask,” he continues.

“Is there an exception to mine?” Zayn questions. “You weren’t exactly opposed to sucking me off.”

“You didn’t really give me much of a choice.”

“You could have stopped me at any time…”

“I was a little busy…” Louis furrows his eyebrows at Harry, shooting him a smirk.

Zayn sighs sharply. “Give it a rest, alright? It’s not like it was rape.”

“It sure wasn’t consensual,” Louis continues but decides to give it a rest. “Oh, fuck it. Just shut up about it?”

And Zayn listens. At least for the next ten seconds until he pleads, “Can someone turn on the fucking A/C before I disintegrate?”

“Crack open a window, I’m running out of gas.”

Zayn lets out an exasperated sigh, the wind flying into the vehicle the second the glass came down. “You should’ve stopped for gas. Jesus, Lou.”

“Shut up, I’m trying to drive,” Louis snaps back.

Their exchange of words proceed even as Harry’s head topples against his window, and as he falls asleep, hushed words slowly grow softer and softer…

“Hazza!”

Harry flings forward slightly but is knocked back by his seatbelt, and it takes him a second to evaluate the situation. Stretching his arms, he turns to his right to see Louis’ hands on the steering wheel, all the windows besides his own are down, a cool breeze rolling in.

He readjusts his awkward position in the passenger seat, but when he glances at his lap, he sees the problem right away. Harry groans, wishing his body would behave.

“Oh good! You’re not dead!” Louis glances at him briefly, then back to the road. “Well, yeah, as you can see, we’ve entered the city.”

And just like that Harry’s peering outside to see that they are surrounded by buildings and passing cars which proves that they have indeed arrived. He furrows his eyebrows, finding it hard to believe he had crashed for over two hours.

“It looks similar to London,” Harry comments. “Not quite as large, but…”

Louis takes a sharp turn. “Have you been here before?”

“No.”

“I have a few times to visit Niall.”

Harry nods his head. He steadies his hands over his lap to calm the sudden adrenaline surging through him. He isn’t quite sure why he’s hyperactive, but with the mix of boredom and the lingering exhaustion, he decides his body is trying to return to homeostasis, something he had picked up in class which comes to mind now for no apparent reason.

“Wake up Zayn, will ya? We’re almost there.”

Harry groans, glancing back at a surely sleeping Zayn in the back. “Do I have to?”

“Do it or I won’t kiss you at all tonight.”

Harry sighs loudly, smirking at him. “That’s hardly fair. We both know you can’t agree to that.”

“Whatever.” Louis drops the threat. “Just do it.”

Obeying him, Harry turns in his seat to reach over and tap Zayn’s knee. “Wake up, you stupid fuck. We’re here.”

Louis cackles. “Never thought I’d hear you say that.”

“Well he won’t wake if I’m nice, will he?”

“Good point.”

Harry unbuckles himself and perches himself over to the side of his seat at the perfect angle to shake Zayn awake. “Zayn! Get up!”

 Zayn flies ahead with a violent shake of his head. Rubbing his eyes, he finally flips his eyelids open to the screaming boy ahead of him. “The fuck, mate!”

Harry flips back to Louis, giving him a thumbs-up. “He’s up.”

As they near their destination, Harry pays close attention to the large house up ahead. With the many cars surrounding the building Harry can confirm that this is indeed Niall’s party. He’s astounded, though; this boy lives in a mansion!

“I brought condoms,” Zayn says to them after exiting the vehicle.

Louis is the first to sigh. “Really? This is a graduation party, not a club.”

“Yeah, but it’s _Niall’s_ party.”

Louis blanks out for a second, and Harry has to nudge his elbow to bring him back to focus. “That doesn’t guarantee you’ll get laid.”

Zayn rolls his eyes, and nothing else is said as they step over the porch. Harry peers through the glass beside the door to see large groups of people settled over what looks to be a couch, but he can’t exactly see much aside from that.

The door flies open then, causing Harry to jump with surprise. There stands a redhead – with really long hair, he might add – holding an orange tabby cat, laughing at surely something. She takes one look at the three of them and her mouth falls to the shape of an “o.”

“You’re Niall’s friends, aren’t you?”

Harry nods, and he assumes the rest follow his action.

She smiles, holding the door open with her free hand. “I’m Catherine, but you can call me Cat. Come on in!”

Harry walks inside, feeling a hand on his arse, and the grin on his face is enough proof that it is, in fact, Louis trying to screw with him.

As previously observed, there are people gathered on sofas, some kissing, some taking pictures, but most are simply sitting there with drinks in hand. Hardly anyone is truly dressed for the occasion, most of which are in casual attire. Harry’s relieved because his friends’ outfits aren’t much better.

Zayn leads them into a group of girls piled on one side of the couch, all talking and laughing and having all-around good fun. There are two boys sitting off to the side, literally piled onto each other and snogging like there’s nobody watching.

“Oh, hello,” Louis says from behind, trying to get their attention. The one above looks up first, his brown hair tousled and messed up, but he looks achingly familiar.

“You look a lot like that George Shelley kid, huh.”

 _Oh yeah, that one kid in our school,_ Harry thinks.

The boy rolls away from the other boy’s body, grinning widely. “Thanks, I guess? I’m Paulo.” He brings his hand forward and Louis is quick to shake it.

“I’m Louis.”

“Harry,” Harry decides to introduce himself.

Paulo nods his head, turning to his right to slip his arm around the other boy. “This is my boyfriend, Cesar.”

“Call me Ceez,” Cesar insists.

“Nice to meet you guys,” Louis says with a grin which Harry copies.

“So,” Ceez pauses to clear his throat, “are you guys together?”

Harry’s heart sinks in his chest, and he thinks there’s a delay of the beats pounding in his chest because, well, he has no idea what to say. They’ve only been together for two days now, and Louis hasn’t shown any sign of, well, making it official, let alone _liking_ Harry. That is, if you forget the words of endearment he had muttered the previous night…

He also remembers that the girls on the beach had asked them the same question yesterday. Are they really that obvious? Surely that can’t be true; two guys can hang out as innocent friends and _not_ be together. Now if only that applied to Harry and Louis…

Making it evident that he isn’t going to answer with the deteriorating pause in the conversation, Harry feels a tug on his hand followed by Louis making an attempt to say _something._

“Too soon to tell, mate.”

Ceez nods approvingly. “I see.”

“You _do_ make a lovely couple,” Paulo comments, causing a very flustered Harry to chuckle accordingly to break the awkward tension.

“So do you,” Harry replies which has the two boys joining their hands together and smiling giddily at each other.

“We know,” Ceez smirks, biting down his lip to meet his boyfriend’s gaze. Paulo runs a hand through his hair, his mouth curved into a smile as he reels Ceez in for a kiss.

Taking that as their clue to leave, they turn back to the group of girls which Zayn has began taking interest to. He’s sitting in the middle with maybe five or six females surrounding him. Harry snorts; what a ladies’ man.

He evaluates each of them, noticing a particular one taking a seat in Zayn’s lap. They fall into a rough kiss, but nobody around them is paying attention. It takes Harry a second to realise that it’s the same girl Zayn had been all over yesterday.

“Nice to see you again, Tina,” Harry says.

Expectantly, she doesn’t turn around, too lost in his friend to pay even a fraction of attention to them. He sighs in defeat, turning back to Louis who’s wearing a look of amusement.

“I see Zayn’s getting it on.”

“Everyone seems to be.” Harry crosses his arms.

He hadn’t been intending to sound so down about it, but the odds are most definitely in his favour when Louis presses a kiss to Harry’s lips, short and sweet, but it’s the kind that Harry wants to partake in longer.

He stares into Louis’ eyes for a matter of seconds until he realises the intensifying eye-lock is tempting him to take Louis upstairs and well – let’s leave it at that. Instead, an important questions arises and Harry wonders why he hasn’t asked sooner.

“Where’s Niall?”

“Good question.” Louis pulls on his hand, dragging him away. “Come on, let’s find him!”

“Don’t you have pussy to eat?” Harry hears a voice behind them, and his curiosity brings him to turn around and see a blonde-haired boy speaking to the same redhead from earlier.

Cat holds a hand over the animal’s face. “Shh, Reid can hear you!”

“That wasn’t what I meant, but okay…” Niall shakes his head at the double meaning and cocks his head to meet the two boys. He immediately breaks into a smile. “Louis, you’re here!” They hug quickly, patting each other on the back. “And who’s this?”

“I’m Harry.” He waves awkwardly.

“I’m Niall,” the boy says in an Irish accent, which is really more British-Irish than anything. “I’m glad you could make it. Make yourselves at home, yeah? Just please don’t fuck here.”

Harry blushes, his eyes dropping to the floor. “We’re not really –”

“Sure we can agree to that,” Louis finishes on a different note which only leaves Harry’s jaw dropped as the brunet drags him away from the Irish lad to return to Zayn who is still wrapped in the brunette.

Louis crosses his arms with impatience. “Coming up for air anytime soon?” Zayn’s hand began tracing over her legs which only causes Louis to groan louder. “Fuck breathing I guess.”

“Hey, we’re gonna play Spin the Bottle!” Paulo suddenly announces, clapping his hands together. Harry wrinkles his eyebrows together, thinking _this isn’t a middle school party is it?_ But he decides he shouldn’t be a downer, and thus, goes forth with it.

He feels fingers face with his, causing a pathetic smile to appear on his face that he can’t wipe away no matter how hard he tries. Louis grins at him as they seat themselves on the couch. Harry watches Paulo carelessly set a green bottle in the center of the coffee table as others gathered around.

Paulo sits down, his boyfriend nearly toppling over him. They laugh as they settle in their place, waiting for the people around them to silence.

Since Louis isn’t saying anything, Harry can’t help but eavesdrop on the conversation between the other two boys.

“No, _I’m_ topping tonight,” Ceez growls.

“But Ceez! I have to attend a wedding tomorrow. I don’t want to limp.” Paulo pouts, crossing his arm in aggravation.

“But you never let me top…”

Paulo closes his hand over Ceez’s, smiling assuredly. “You’ll get your chance one day.”

Ceez rolls his eyes. “You’re lucky I love you.”

Harry feels a sinking in his chest as he glances back at Louis. A part of him wishes the two of them could have a relationship like Paulo and Cesar’s, or simply any relationship at all.

“I haven’t played this game since grade school,” Louis says, throwing his arm against the couch behind Harry’s head.

Harry laughs. “It can still be fun.”

“Just don’t get jealous, yeah?”

Harry’s grin drops, but he manages to nod. Right. No getting jealous here. It’s only a silly little game, and it doesn’t mean anything if they have to kiss other people.

“Alright, I’ll start,” Ceez declares, leaning over to revolve the beer bottle, his eyes watching carefully as it spins around landing between Paulo and him, but closer to himself. He lets out a muffled chuckle. “Bloody hell, do I go again?”

Paulo drops a hand on his knee. “Or you can just kiss _me_.”

“Later.”

As the bottle spins again, Harry, being as subtle as possible, slips his hand across Louis’ back and leaves it wrapped over his waist, smiling when Louis flinched at the sudden contact. The bottle stops a second later, and if Harry’s eyes aren’t betraying him, he swears it’s pointing straight at Louis.

Now if this was a grade seven party there would be girls and boys with their _oohs_ and _ahs,_ but nobody really gives a shit now. Except for Harry who is struggling to keep his thoughts louder than his racing heart. He’s struck with panic to such an extent that he barely notices Louis moving to Ceez, and he definitely doesn’t catch their lips locking for a very, very, _very_ brief second.

Harry’s heart sinks, but he takes a deep breath and tries to get himself to relax. He pretends it didn’t bother him, forces a smile and leans forward. “My turn?”

It lands on none other than Cat. She perks forward eagerly, handing her cat – Reid? – to a random girl sitting beside her. She brushes her hair back and gives the girl a quick kiss before literally flopping toward Harry. Is she okay?

Harry knows it won’t mean anything, but in a way, as he kisses the ginger’s lips lightly, he thinks that he’s getting back at Louis in a way. But the second Cat runs back to who Harry assumes is her girlfriend, he is being dragged to his side into a rough kiss, nearly having him slipping off the couch.

“Louis,” he mumbles against his lips as tries to steady himself. The kissing has gotten rougher, angrier, and there is just pure aggression, but Harry doesn’t understand. “Lou – What’s gotten into you?”

Louis kisses him quickly before pulling back. Shaky breaths and a frazzled expression, Harry wants to know what’s gotten the guy all riled up. “Nothing,” is all Louis says.

Harry thinks back on his thoughts while Louis had kissed the other boy, and he has a pretty good idea of Louis’ current feelings. But that can’t be it, can it? Surely Louis can’t be _jealous._

The game proceeds for a bit longer, luckily nobody landing on either of the boys. After a while, Harry and Louis both get bored and decide to find some drinks.

“Niall usually keeps them in the fridge,” Louis cleverly points out as if he knows everything about this boy who is still a stranger to him. Though that isn’t exactly saying much considering Harry has yet to learn more about Louis.

“There’s food,” Harry realises, glancing at the table of snacks and punch, his stomach growling loudly. He releases his hold on Louis’ hand, skipping over to quench his hunger, the brunet following behind.  

Harry grabs a vanilla muffin, but a hand gets in his way. Louis makes a small noise of disapproval.

“What? You don’t think Niall poisoned them?”

“No, chocolate tastes better.”

Harry scoffs, smirking as he sets the desired pastry onto his plate. “Well, _you’re_ not the boss of me.”

“Suit yourself.”

As they make it past the table with food and drink in hand, Harry observes a cluster of people colonizing behind a double-door, its visibility showing that it leads outside to the deck. Harry pulls Louis excitedly toward the designated area as he catches a better view of the happenings outside. Katy Perry’s 2008 hit _Hot & Cold _is blasting from the speakers which are presumably hanging somewhere outside the house. Harry is surprised to see a circular pool filled with groups of people throwing beach balls at each other, some simply relaxing on tubes and floaties while the others giggle, as they splash each other with the heaps of water.

Hand in hand, Louis and Harry walk around the pool, careful not to expose themselves to any water, not that Harry is against it because, well, it’s such a fun atmosphere and what’s the point in being a downer?

Outside the pool is a specialized grill beside two large counters which have all sorts of alcohol gathered together, presumably an outdoor bar. There is a small roof above this little addition which is obviously to protect the equipment from any weather, and Harry catches a speaker attached to one of the sides. He’s impressed to say the least; Niall lives like a king.

“Found the drinks!” Louis says happily, grabbing a large bottle full of unknown clear liquid. He’s quick to pop the cap open, sipping right away. He coughs slightly but laughs when he makes eye contact.

“You’re cute when you’re trying to act badass.” Actually, he’s _always_ cute…

Louis smirks. “And you’re cute when you try to act innocent.”

Harry tilts his head to the side before finally breaking into a grin.

“D’ya wanna go for a swim?”

“Not really,” Harry answers, honestly. They swam yesterday, and Harry isn’t sure he wants to walk all the way back to the car to retrieve his swimwear. “But, I mean – if you want to, I guess –”

“I’m not really up for it either, to be honest.” Their conversation is interrupted with a loud scream coming from the pool, but it’s only a squeal followed by laughter. Harry turns back to see Louis smiling slyly at him. “Let’s sit down somewhere.”

There are maybe ten chairs out here – most of which resemble those at public pools: large enough to lay down on. They only find one available seat, but Harry insists that Louis has it.

“Nah, I’m fine.”

“Lou,” Harry insists.

“Just sit down,” Louis urges, and Harry lets out a defeated sigh before dropping himself into the chair.

The scene grows increasingly boring, and simply sitting here should make Harry more relaxed, but he’s shaking with anticipation to do something – anything. Louis’ eyes are wandering the area, supposedly watching people out of sheer boredom, and Harry is obviously watching him because he’s the most interesting person he knows.

“Hey, Lou?” He waits for Louis’ attention before petting a hand on his lap, smiling with a yearning to be close to the other boy.

“So needy.” Louis shakes his head, but he listens. He settles over Harry’s lap, the brush of his bum against Harry’s legs warm and heavy and the way his smaller body structure corresponds with Harry’s makes his breath catch in his throat at the proximity. Without thinking about it, Harry envelopes the boy in his arms, dropping his head to dip over his shoulder. He can feel the drop in Louis’ stomach as he tightens his grasp on his waist, which causes his breaths to stop short as well.

Louis cocks his head to the side, close enough a distance for Harry to undergo the temptation of inclining his head forward until he delicately presses their mouths together, giving him a sweet, chaste kiss. It’s not his intention to go any further, but Louis is sitting in his lap for God’s sake and Harry really can’t handle it.

Harry swipes his tongue across the other boy’s, opening his mouth and allowing him entry, a low noise escaping his mouth as the kiss prolongs. He feels a hand travel through his hair, sending tingles down his body to his waist where Louis’ hands appear to be heading.

Harry pushes their lips together once more before letting out a gasp at the sudden contact below, and he just about brings himself to mumble against Louis’ mouth, “Bedroom.”

Hand in hand with Harry’s semi poking at his trousers, they rush into the house in search of an available room. Dashing up the stairs, Harry sees three doors, and they go into the first one.

The second they’re inside Harry doesn’t hesitate to shove Louis up against a wall, proceeding to smash their lips together with full force. He unfastens his zipper and strips away his shirt, quick to eliminate the other boy’s, exposing tanned skin to the bright light in the room.

“Harry, fuck,” Louis gasps out, starting to grind their hips together as Harry begins to trace his fingertips along his collarbones, his mouth connecting to the desired skin, sucking love-bites to travel down to his waist. He pulls down Louis’ shorts far enough to catch his member in his mouth, strategically bobbing his head as the filthy noises escape Louis.

Harry continues to work him hard until he feels a hand on his scalp followed by a gasp that isn’t coming from either one of them.

“Shit –” Louis begins, hastily pulling up his chinos as Harry wipes his mouth. He turns around to see three familiar faces staring back at him.

Cat is the first to fly from the sheets in nothing but a bra and panties. Ceez and Paulo are left in the bed, struggling to hide in the duvet, but Harry knows exactly what’s going on.

Finally, Ceez shares a look of surprise with his boyfriend and glances back at the other two boys. “I’m – We’re sorry. This – this is awkward.”

“You should’ve knocked,” Paulo says, sternly.

Louis tries to apologise, “We’re –”

“It’s really not a big deal, Paw –” Ceez begins but Paulo cuts him off.

“Yes it is! This is the third time it’s happened!”

Ceez drops his head in his hands. “Ugh.”

Harry awkwardly rubs the back of his neck, formulating a way he can make this encounter any less weird. “We’re gonna just go – yeah. C’mon, Lou.” He opens the door, mentally screaming at himself for walking in the room in the first place. They _could_ have knocked had Harry not been so anxious for Louis.

They kind of just hang in the hallway, staring at each other, after the door shuts behind them. Harry holds his hands together behind his back, looking down at his feet with that same nervous feeling lingering through him, how he’d felt yesterday right as he had been dragged into this. He isn’t sure why, but for some reason it’s difficult to speak to Louis when their lips aren’t merged together, and that troubles him greatly because what good are they together if they can’t hold a normal conversation?

But Harry doesn’t worry, no. He has the rest of the summer to ponder on the consequences. Right now he wants to lose himself completely and tangle himself in the fascination that is Louis.

So he smiles and begins walking toward the other two rooms, making sure he knocks before entering the first one.

“Nobody here,” Harry says, pulling Louis inside and smashing their lips together the second he gets the chance. Louis kisses him back tenderly, but right as Harry begins tugging on his waistband, Louis stops him.

Harry frowns, as if to ask _don’t you want it?_ But he doesn’t want to sound desperate despite how much he _really_ wants it.

“Why?”

Louis pecks his lips lightly but backs away instantly. “I actually want to talk.”

Harry gulps, his heart sinking with the last word. Not only does he wonder _what_ Louis wants to discuss with him, but also _why._ What could have Harry possibly done for Louis to want to have a serious conversation with him? The very thought that Louis would end this little fling brings the curly-haired lad to drop his hands with panic flashing in his eyes.

Somehow he manages to stay under control. “Okay.”

Louis walks over to sit on the white bed in the center of the room. It’s still bright out, and the bright light is illuminating through the double-paneled window; however, that does little to ease Harry’s worries.

Harry wants to sit down, but he’s afraid his shaky movements will become noticeable and Louis will think he’s weird for overreacting, but maybe he has a reason to. And he’s totally set on standing in front of the brunet until Louis pats the spot beside him, _insisting_ he sits beside him.

Louis sighs, dropping his gaze to the floor. “Harry, where are we?”

Harry frowns, confused at his question. “Niall’s house. Some random bedroom.”

“No, I mean – I dunno. Where am I in your life?” Louis pauses as if he’s set on that being his final question but squints his eyes with frustration. “What do you see me as? A friend? A random guy that you’ve become more than familiar with?”

“I don’t know.” He doesn’t, to be honest. “I only just met you yesterday ‘cause I mean - well, I’ve known you for years, but I didn’t actually _know_ you, and I still don’t... I –” He stops because he’s talking too much and he’s overdoing it and Louis is going to hate him now. Huffing an angry breath, his self-loathing takes over, and he just wants to stop talking and kiss Louis instead.

“Harry,” Louis says, supposedly understanding the reason for Harry’s sudden silence. “Talk to me.”

He doesn’t even know Louis for fuck’s sake, and Louis will probably forget about him after all of this is over. It shouldn’t bother Harry as much as it does, but it’s just that he’s never felt this way about anyone, or at least he doesn’t remember his feelings ever being this strong and uncontrollable, and he doesn’t want to let this go forgotten. He doesn’t want to forget Louis. Not like Harry’s previous partners have forgotten him.

With troubled breaths, Harry tries to get a hold of himself. Fuck, he’s acting like a child, moping over his past and his future, and it’s all so unnecessary and overwhelming, but it’s out of his control now and he knows Louis is going to give him shit for it.

“I like you. A lot.” Harry keeps his head turned the other direction after his confession. And even though his heart is beating a thousand beats per second, he finds speaking was easier than he’d anticipated.

It’s maybe a minute later that Louis responds. “Do you really mean that?”

“Well, yeah.” He almost adds, _I didn’t let you fuck me for no reason,_ but he decides that’s probably not appropriate for the situation.

Louis smiles, holding his hand out. Harry is hesitant to grab it but does so, anyway.

“Liam’s supposed to be here soon with his girlfriend.”

“What?”

“Yeah, so we should go downstairs.” Louis stands up, keeping their fingers entwined.

“Wait –” Harry stops in place, and Louis looks back at him quizzically. He groans, knowing Louis is simply avoiding the subject, and that just infuriates him because he had been so adamant with his confession and now Louis is just going to brush it off. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Can we talk about this later?” Louis rolls his eyes, turning around to attempt to head out the door again. Harry releases his hand, crossing his arms with annoyance. If Louis wants to leave, then so be it.

Finally, Louis lets out a sharp sigh. “Okay, fine.”

He has this look of defeat, like he’s either going to make a dramatic exit or actually say something important.

“I’m flattered that you like me, really, believe me, I am. But it’s just – it’s complicated,” Louis flatly says, Harry’s heart dropping to the pit of his stomach. “It’s not that I don’t like you because I do. I mean, you saw Paulo and Cesar’s relationship. They’re really into each other. And as much as I want that, I don’t think I’m capable of being loved to such a degree.” He pauses, sighing deeply. “Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

Harry can’t deny that he’s hurt, mostly shocked by the rejection. In a way, though, he’s been expecting this all along, but now that it’s finally happened, he just wants to shrivel up and die because despite how much he knew this wouldn’t last long, there has always been a part of him convinced that Louis would prove him otherwise. And now that hope is gone now just like Harry’s ability to speak.

“Fuck, Harry, I didn’t mean it like that… Gin is a depressant, I don’t know why I took it straight in the first place.” Why is he making excuses? “I just really don’t want to mess things up, okay? I really do like you.”

There are so many thoughts running through Harry’s brain, but somehow it’s all too impossible to express through words. All he can do is stand still, stare into Louis’ solemn eyes with dread in his expression. He repeatedly tells himself, _it’s not a big deal, it’s not a big deal,_ but the tears springing to his eyes are telling him different.

Why is it that while he is satisfied with what he already has, he still craves for more?

“I know,” he finally brings himself to say.

“Do you? Because I really do. I have for a long time now.”

Harry wants to ask him to elaborate but figures Louis has had his eyes on him throughout the year or something clichéd like that. He wants to say something, to ask Louis what he’s trying to say, because Harry truly doesn’t understand. If Louis likes him, why doesn’t he want him?

“I don’t want anything to change between us.”

Still writhing in confusion, Harry sniffs, muttering in a desperate voice, “Can I still kiss you?”

Louis leans forward to bump their foreheads over. Harry breathes hard, gulping down the nervous energy as well as the overwhelming urge to burst into tears.

“As long as you stop asking,” Louis whispers, and he barely finishes his sentence when their lips find each other, working desperately to fit together passionately. It feels like barely a second later that their bodies collapse on the bed, clothes flying off in desperation, as Harry bounced his body above the other boy’s.

It’s a different feeling being on top, but he isn’t complaining. He has more control this way as well as the satisfaction of knowing exactly how to please Louis, how to bring him down to his level, and how to make him come like never before. With the fury in Harry’s eyes and _complete_ possessiveness, he pushes deep into the tight heat, thinking _moremoremore_ as his thrusts grow easier and looser like there isn’t anything else he wants to ever do in his life.

Louis’ nails slice into his back, his moans loud and far from anything languid, the way his body squirmed beneath Harry’s is overbearing and brings Harry to ram himself effortlessly into Louis, satisfaction hurdling over him. He sees stars and thinks maybe he can live without a committing relationship just so long as he gets to spend every day like this. And that thought alone is enough to bring Harry to spill everything he has, every emotion welling inside him, every pain he’s been desperate to rid himself off, into Louis, continuing to push, seeking to satisfy Louis with everything he has to offer.

“Mine,” he growls, pecking his lips hungrily.

Louis kisses him back, mumbling against his mouth, “Yours.”

Eyes snapped shut, his fringe messily strewn over his forehead, Louis’ hips arch forward and the loudest groan surpasses him until his breathing slows, and Harry sees nothing but cerulean blue orbs which is enough to compel him to kiss Louis assuredly, as if to say, _that was so good, you were so good, Lou, let’s do it again._

They fall into leisure for a matter of minutes, simply relaxing beside each other and staring at the patterns on the ceiling. Harry thinks that had been about the greatest sex in his life until he remembers that’s not the first time they’ve shared that extent of intimacy. It takes him more than a second to consider if the feelings are mutual.

“Haz?” Louis says in a small voice.

“Yeah?”

“I really like you.”

“I know.”

And maybe Harry can live with it.

“We should go. Liam’s probably waiting for us downstairs,” Louis reminds him, lifting his body out of bed. As he reaches down to grab his clothes, Harry can’t stop himself from admiring that beautiful arse and how adamant he is to touch it, to simply revel in all its glory.

“Oh.” Harry reverts his focus back to Louis’ face. “Yeah, let’s go.”

Liam is slumping on the couch downstairs as predicted, with a glass of wine in his hands, looking surprisingly over-dressed for the occasion. He has a girl dangling onto his arm, brown medium-length hair with dark brown glasses to complement her eyes. As Harry and Louis approach them, they’re laughing at something until they spot the two.

“Harry! Lou! You’re here!” Liam says, unexpectedly shrilly. “I would stand up to hug you to fully commence the reunion, but it’s too much work to stand up.”

“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist. We saw each other yesterday,” Louis points out. “So I’m guessing this is your girlfriend?”

Liam nods, turning his head to meet the girl’s smiling gaze. “Yeah, this is Megan.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Harry,” Harry greets her politely, causing a blush to swell on her cheeks. “And he’s Louis.”

“Well, it appears as though I’m incapable of introducing myself, so thanks, mate.” Louis pats Harry softly on his shoulder, a slight chuckle moving past his lips.

“So how did you meet?” Harry finds himself asking, the curiosity of Liam having moved on so quickly from his past relationship still nipping him in the bum.

“Our parents are good friends,” Megan explains. “We’ve known each other for a while now.”

“I see.”

“We’re happy for you,” Louis adds, causing the couple to smile.

As they walk away, Harry can only think about how grateful he is for not having received the “are you together?” card for the umpteenth time.

“Wanna go out?”

“What?” Harry turns to Louis with a startled look.

Louis laughs. “Let me rephrase that. Do you want to get out of here?”

“I dunno. I’m really tired, you really wore me out.” Harry smirks.

Louis returns a smirk, closing their hands together. “Fair enough.”

They return to the living room to bury themselves on the sofa, watching Niall play rounds of Mario Kart with opponents alternatively, with the commotion and chatter embodying them.

“Fucking hell!” Niall curses, hurling his controller at the ground.

The girl he’s playing against simply laughs at him obnoxiously. It takes Harry a second to remember that it’s the same girl Cat had been kissing earlier.

“You cheated!”

“Don’t talk to Effie that way!” Cat calls out, throwing a Cheeto at Niall, except she overlooks her aim and drops it on the ground instead.

“I won fair and square,” Effie declares, crossing her arms. She hands the controller to Cat and smirks. “Good luck. He’s difficult.”

“ _I’m_ difficult? You distracted me and I lost! It’s clearly your fault!”

Cat pushes Niall aside, shaking her head. “Are you ready to lose?”

Harry laughs at their banter, wondering how he never knew Niall before today. Perhaps it has something to do with how Niall is part of Louis’ friend group, but then again, Zayn knew him as well. He also has to account for Zayn who practically associates himself with everyone, and eventually Harry comes to the conclusion that he’s simply never had the fortune of stumbling upon the lad.

Harry’s throat is dry, and he wonders how long it’s been since he’s had a proper glass of water. He starts to get up to look for some. “Hey, Lou, I’m –” But when he glances to his side, Louis is gone.

His eyes wander the area with no sign of the boy, which has him frowning as he stands up to continue his search on a wider scope. Where could he have gone?

He shakes his head sadly, thinking about when he had started to become so fucking clingy. He could easily wander off and hang out with anyone and flirt with anything that walks, but for some reason he’s been attached at Louis’ hip the whole night.

He’s about to give up and head back to the couch when a body busts into him, nearly knocking him to the floor. He manages to compose himself before having a brief glance at the familiar boy ahead of him.

“Paulo? Have you seen Louis?”

Paulo is giggling, tossing his head back and forth, his movements disheveled and lacking focus. “Louis…?” He slurs out, still laughing. “The really gay one?”

Harry frowns, deciding this boy is most definitely on something. “I guess you could say that?”

Ceez jumps from behind him, relaxing a hand on his shoulder. “What’s up?”

“You know Louis? The guy I was with?”

It takes him a second to nod. He looks a little better than his boyfriend, so maybe he could be of help.

“Have you seen him?”

Ceez scratches his head, using his other hand to steady the boy still flopping in front of him. “I think he left with that other guy.”

“What?”

“Yeah, tanned skin, dark hair, really skinny –”

“Oh.” It all makes sense now. “Okay, thanks.”

Harry pushes past them to return to the couch, trying hard not to feel bad about it. Sure, Louis and Zayn left him, but they’d be back, right? Where would they go anyway?

“Wait, Harry.”

Harry stops, turning back to see the couple staring at him confusedly. It’s actually Ceez who looks genuinely concerned while Paulo is stumbling in his tracks, an arm wrapped over his waist to keep him from falling over.

“Your name is Harry, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s go outside, it’s hot in here.”

Harry follows him out to the deck where there are still people thrashing in the pool despite the dark conditions. The lights are on, though, and it’s not overwhelmingly loud like before.

Ceez takes a seat, offering Harry the one beside him. Paulo’s body drops over his boyfriend’s lap, a grunt escaping the black-haired lad.

“Tell me about Louis.”

Harry starts at the beginning, normally having spared the details, but in this case, he spills literally everything because he’s so upset and can’t think straight and he’s probably overreacting, but he has to tell _someone_ before he _loses_ it.

“And now he’s probably at a club with Zayn forgotten all about me or wishing he never met me because I fucked up,” Harry mumbles in distress, throwing his head in his hands.

Ceez sighs, grabbing a bottle on the small table beside him. He takes a sip and then holds it out to Harry who doesn’t hesitate to grab it, taking the longest sip possible.

His eyes snap shut at the pain gathering in his throat, allowing it to subside. He leaves the bottle between his legs and looks back at Ceez. Paulo has already fallen asleep, his arms dangling over his boyfriend’s neck.

“Well, think about it like this. You’ve only known him for two days –”

“That’s exactly my point,” Harry interjects. “What if I rushed him? He doesn’t even want a relationship, why did I bother?”

“I’m sure he’ll be back soon.”

The curly-haired lad lets out a long sigh, folding his hands together anxiously. “I just want to know where he’s run off to. And why.” Louis _had_ asked Harry if he wanted to go outside, and perhaps Harry rejecting him had resulted to this now.

“What you need to do is relax, mate,” Ceez advises him. “Tell ya what, I’ll put Paulo to sleep and we can hang out, yeah?”

And by ‘hang out’ Harry is sure Ceez is suggesting that they are going to get pissed out of their minds as an attempt to forget about Louis.

So Harry nods weakly. “Good idea.”


	4. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry didn’t expect his graduation to end with a road trip, and he certainly didn’t expect to reunite with his old crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I’m really bad at angst or just dealing with conflict in general. But I tried, okay. One more part left :)

Harry doesn’t remember how he ends up lying beside and on top of a cluster of strangers, but he has a vague idea when he opens his eyes, taking him some time to adjust to the new light. He rubs his eyes, groaning at the group of people snoring around him, ashamed that he had become a part of this mess. Reluctant to stand up, he luckily has an excuse with the bile rising to his throat as he picks himself off and dashes to the toilet.

As he throws up everything he’s taken in from yesterday, he sinks to the ground with a defeated sigh, trying to remember what had happened to make him feel so shitty today.

His chest tightens, his throat aching with disgust from having clashed with bodily acids, Harry holds a hand over his stomach, struggling to slow his breathing. He runs a hand through his hair, swearing at the greasiness that becomes a result. He tries to recall the last time he showered when it hits him that he genuinely doesn’t give a shit. As remembrances fill his brain he also takes note of his mum who he hasn’t spoken to in days now. How long has it been, anyway?

Harry rubs his head, feeling his headache worsen as the events of the previous night recoiled in his mind.

He remembers Louis (of-fucking-course), and that’s really all it takes to have him swearing loudly and banging his hands against the ground. Because, that’s right, Louis left him on his own. Not only that, but he left with _Zayn._ Of all the possible people, it had to have been Zayn, the same boy who had provoked their privacy yesterday and never ceased to leave them be.

The pain in Harry’s chest constricts his lungs and prevents him from breathing properly, whether that is a result of his current condition or the state of jealousy he has been trapped in for days now. It’s nothing new, really. Harry is naturally possessive, and he’s perfectly aware that his emotions are far out of reach. One might assume it’s simply the way one acts to a lover or just who one is after, but Harry behaves this way to everyone he’s ever been close to. Harry’s best friend having been stolen from him in the fifth grade (It hadn’t been that big of a deal in the first place, but it had started with simple acts of a stranger coming forth with attempts of becoming part of their friend group – the usual, playing with them at recess – until it went forward to the stranger picking Harry’s best friend instead of him – choosing partners in class and calling on each other to read – and it wasn’t too long after that Harry realised he had every right to feel jealous and afraid and just purely horrible because he had been right all along.) along with his abandonment and trust issues is enough of a reason for Harry’s misleading notions that perhaps he is too much for anyone to handle, and he should stick to himself so nobody has to suffer for his sake.

His skin prickly, he scratches his arms obsessively. His heart racing, his legs shaking with panic, he desperately tries to get a hold on himself, muttering _it’s okay, you need to get yourself together_ to himself regardless of the fact that his attempt to comfort himself is palpable and an absolute mockery. All his life he has been confident with responding with _I’m okay_ and _everything is fine,_ but now it is all crashing down on him because he’s _not_ okay and everything is _not_ fine, and he needs to face up to reality before it beats him to a bloody pulp. He used to consider himself an idealist until he came to the conclusion that life isn’t fair and nothing will go your way unless you step off your high horse, get up from your lazy arse and make something of yourself. This little philosophy (or whatever you call it) somewhat relates to Harry’s situation; in fact, it conveys so well that Harry has to hold a hand over his stomach to brush away the urge to bend over the toilet again.

He spreads his legs across the marble floor as he strives to sustain his steady breathing. However, it only becomes difficult to continue as Harry strews fact and fact together until he is fed with the understanding that Louis and Zayn aren’t coming back for him because they don’t _need_ him. They have _forgotten_ him. _They_ _don’t care about him._ And maybe Harry should be used to it by now (The very thought that anyone really, truly gives a shit is so impossible it makes him want to snort and burst into laughter because why would he deserve such, if not any, praise?), but one can only bottle up so many conflicted emotions until they collide and implode, and Harry is easily facing the fact that he’s not immune to being the object of ignorance, and the more he thinks on it, the more he wants to pretend that nothing doesn’t matter, that it doesn’t bother him, simply to convince himself that maybe everything would be okay after all, and that one day he will find the exception who won’t push him away.

 _Fuck it all,_ Harry thinks, pressing the pads of his thumbs together forcefully until it hurts, becoming aware of his foolishness and moving them apart. Heaving a sigh, he drops his hands on his lap, allowing himself to stare straight ahead and think about the hole he’s fallen into.

A loud banging on the door not only forces his self-loathing to end but also knocks Harry’s head back into the wall in panic. He mutters swears under his breath as he chaotically tries to pick himself off the floor to grab the door handle, which fails miserably as Harry’s shoeless foot (when had that happened?) slips on the sleek floor, knocking him down before he can even touch the door.

The person knocks again, intent on having Harry hear. “For fuck’s sake, I’m gonna shat myself!”

Harry groans at the peculiar yet familiar male voice as he struggles to reach up to pull on the handle.

“What’s taking so long?!”

“Fucking hell,” Harry mutters, a whimper leaving his throat, his breath constricting quickly, but he manages to touch the door handle long enough to pull it open. He watches as Paulo flies into the bathroom, quick to drop his pants to his knees.

Disgusted, Harry hurries to roll his body out of the bathroom. He stands up, hearing his bones pop at the sudden movement of his body. He’s quick to slam the door shut to give the boy some privacy.

He shakes his head disapprovingly. Paulo couldn’t have waited a few extra seconds to have spared Harry seeing his junk, could he?

He hears a sigh of contentment coming from behind the door, and that immediately has Harry wrinkling his nose with disgust and heading away. He returns to the living room to see that the area is mostly empty, with only about five or six guests leaning onto each other on the sofas. Harry pushes aside all thoughts of Louis and his whereabouts, and settles beside Effie and Cat, ruffling his hair once more.

“Harry, you’re still here?” He hears Cat say, sounding surprisingly shrilly for this early in the day.

Harry groans, his headache only continuing to further plague him. “Why the surprise?”

Effie leans forward to smile at him. “We just thought you’d be long gone by now.”

“Yeah, weren’t you with that one bloke?”

Harry looks down at his hands folded loosely over his lap. “He left.” He might have put some effort into not sounding so sad about it, but frankly, his impression on these people is the least of his worries. The only reason he’s still here is because he doesn’t have anywhere else to go and wants to avoid being by himself.

The two females stare at him, the expressions on their faces showing sympathy toward him. They look as though they have a lot to say but don’t want to annoy him with their pity.

Effie clears her throat, sounding a little hurt when she speaks, as if she can relate. “Well, let us know if you need anything, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Harry says lowly. “They should be back soon.”

Or so he hopes.

“What happened last night?” Harry frowns, continuing to ruffle his hair, even though it only makes things worse.

Ceez enters the living room looking just as fucked as Harry feels, propping himself down on the couch in front of him. “You don’t remember?” When he gets a no for a respond, he shakes his head as well. “I don’t remember much, either.”

“You two really went at it,” Cat speaks up, her words alerting Harry straight away. “It’s true. I’m not sure what you were on, but you were blazed for a fact.”

“What else?” Harry really means to ask, _did I do anything I’m going to regret?_

“You basically took over the house, shouting and running about. You looked like you were having a good time, what, with you making out with half of us?” She smiles. “You were really hyped up, you must have taken MDMA or something.”

Harry raises an eyebrow. “What’s that?”

“Ecstasy.”

“It’s all coming back now,” Ceez says, tapping his feet against the carpet. He grabs the bottle of booze lying beside him, and that immediately causes the unsettling feeling to rise in Harry’s stomach. He doesn’t understand why someone would drink to pass their hangover.

Niall walks in with a bottle of whiskey  (again with the alcohol straight up in the morning, honestly?) and carries a chair with an open hand. He drops himself down with a sigh, running a hand through his blonde locks.

“I am so fucking tired, like you have no fucking idea,” Niall musters out. “This was supposed to be my graduation party, not a fucking disco rave.” Everyone laughs at that, Harry included. “I’m serious. I couldn’t resist temptation for one little party, nope. How will I ever go through life if I can’t learn to say no?”

“Oh, stop this rubbish,” Ceez says, dropping his hand to the side of the couch. “Don’t get riled up now, it was fun and we all had a fantastic time, alright?”

Niall lets it go, pressing the bottle to his lips and forcing it down with a loud gulping sound. Harry notes that Niall doesn’t even consider the words he’d said just now, letting it fall to the floor with the rest of their dignities.

“So, ladies. Did youenjoy the party?”

“Of course,” Effie responds. “Especially when I pummeled your arse, remember?” She smirks, referring to the video game.

“I’m flattered you would say such a thing, but I’ll have you know I don’t play for that team.”

Effie rolls her eyes. “Very funny. I’ll have _you_ know I wouldn’t get near your willy if my family was held hostage and the only way I could free them is if I resorted to that.” She scrunches her nose in disgust. Harry smiles, impressed at her comeback.

“Hah,” Niall snorts. “You know that dykes can still like cock, right?”

“I do. Just not _yours_ , you see…”

“I see how it is.” He drinks more whiskey, coughing after his last sip. His face is turning red, his hand over his neck, as he tries to regain control of himself.

“Maybe you should take it easy,” Ceez warns him.

“Maybe you should piss off.” Niall coughs one last time, falling into a fit of laughter. “Where’s your boyfriend? Haven’t seen him in ages.”

“He’s asleep.”

“Must have been all that sex –” He chokes on his words as Ceez’s hand flies into his chest. “Thanks for cutting off my circulation, really means a lot.”

“I don’t like it when you talk about Paulo and me like that. We don’t just _fuck._ ”

“Oh, right.” Niall smirks, clearing his throat in preparation to mimic him. “ _’We make love.’”_

Harry grins, finding it hilarious and cute all at the same time. “How romantic.”

Ceez raises a hand toward his direction. “See? _He_ gets it.”

Niall shakes his head. “He was being sarcastic. I’m a little alarmed, though. You’re surprisingly quiet for the guy who we all referred to as the life of the party.”

Harry shrugs, feeling anxious all over again. “I’m not, er… in the right mood.”

“Where are Louis and Zayn?”

“Fuck if I know.” Harry tries not to sound upset, failing yet again.

“Zayn was with Tina last I saw…” Cat points out, playing with her hair.

Niall nods, looking impressed. “They got together fast.”

“They won’t last.”

Niall leans forward this time. Harry pays attention, too, genuinely interested in her argument.

Cat just shrugs, draping her hair over her shoulder. “Tina will break his heart.”

The conversation ensues, but Harry isn’t listening. It isn’t that he doesn’t care, just that he’s lost in his own thoughts. He thinks about how he’s judged his friend the past years, always seeing him as a player or someone who doesn’t particularly bother with relationships and feelings. This deeply troubles Harry because there’s the chance that Zayn might actually be into this girl, and she’s just going to blow him off like it meant nothing. Harry’s train of thoughts slide off the track when he comes to realise just how well he can relate to that precise situation, if it wasn’t for the slight hope he has that Louis still wants him.

“Fuck relationships,” Harry mumbles under his breath, and he doesn’t notice how loud he’s spoken until all eyes are on him, hushed silence echoing in the house. He also discerns that everyone (literally everyone) here is in a committed relationship, except for him, of course.

Harry wants to punch a wall.

He gulps and tries to explain himself. “I’m – I was speaking to myself. Just – forget I said anything.” Nobody is affected by his words, and Harry sighs, allowing the awkward silence to prolong.

“Cece.” Harry looks at the corner of his eye where Paulo stands, making his way over to his boyfriend. But what kind of nickname is that? “Scooch.”

Ceez bites his lip, grinning wildly. “Make me.”

And Paulo doesn’t even bother with the words that enforced sexual tension, instead, throwing himself over the other boy’s body, causing a strained groan to leave Ceez.

“When did you start getting so heavy?”

“Shut up,” Paulo says with a grunt, still trying to get himself properly sat.

“It’s probably the arse. You carry lots of load in there. _My_ load,” Ceez says with a wink, causing Niall to groan in disgust. “I’m sorry, that was terrible.”

“Look, I’m cool with you two being together and spreading your love and rainbows to the world and shit. But the second you start fucking in front of me, you’d better hope and pray I don’t call and send the KKK after you.”

“Oh my god, Niall.” Ceez’s mouth drops, but a smile lies there. “That was so not funny.”

On the other hand, Paulo’s hand is covering his mouth and he looks as if it’s taking literally everything not to explode with laughter. “It was _kind of_ funny.”

He looks back at the girls, smirking. “You know, Effie is taking it well. I’m surprised.”

“Taking what well?”

“Niall,” Cat warns him.

He shrugs. “Ask Paulo and Ceez. I’m sure they’re dying to tell you.”

Cat’s eyes widen in a way one would be in shock after being informed of the death of a loved one. She pseudo-frowns. “I don’t know what you’re talking ab –”

Effie turns to look at her, panic stirring in her expression. “Can I speak to you in private?”

“Um… yeah.”

Silence falls once the couple leave, the sound of shouting heard from the hallway. Harry breathes deeply, wondering why people always make mistakes and hurt the ones they love.

Someone’s phone goes off from the other room, and Niall stands up to answer it. Paulo and Ceez are leaning onto each other, both looking absolutely exhausted. But even at that Harry is positive they can’t feel as worse as him.

Niall returns momentarily with a newly-formed grin. “Sabra’s on her way.”

“Sabra?” The name sounds familiar.

“Yeah, my girlfriend.”

 _Oh_. So everyone here is in a relationship after all.

Harry feels a stinging pain in the pit of his stomach. He knows he’s simply finding more reason to hate himself; he’s arrived at the conclusion that he’ll never find someone he can be fully comfortable around. Or at least someone who would stay with him.

“I’m so done,” he mutters before starting for the kitchen, in search of something edible that won’t make him upset. However, as he flings the refrigerator open, the shelves are nothing short of soft drinks, liquor, and eggs. Making his decision (seeing as he has no other choice), he retrieves three eggs, his stomach growling loudly.

“Hey.”

Harry nearly drops the eggs at the sudden sound but manages to turn around with a wary look. He sees Megan smiling before him, gesturing to her left.

“Hello.” Harry fakes a smile.

“I think your friends are here.”

It takes only a second for Harry to set everything down and run for the front door, his thoughts only _now_ blanking out on him. Maybe he shouldn’t act so excited, but he can’t help the relief that washes over him because _they came back._ Despite the good news, Harry almost wants to pretend he doesn’t give a shit for the sole reason of getting back at them. And considering Harry’s appalling train of thoughts, revenge might not be a bad idea at this point.

The doorbell goes off and Harry scampers to the door, seeing that it’s open and Niall has let them inside. He turns on his heel to head back to the living room to see the dark red-haired girl waving at the group of people. Sighing in disappointment, he finds a place on a couch and tries to act like he cares that Sabra is here.

Niall and Sabra are lip-locking, but thankfully it’s only for a second. It helps that they are aware of everyone and aren’t simply pretending they are the only two that matter. Harry hates couples for a fact, but he hates the infatuated ones the most.

“Is Tina here?” Sabra asks.

“Yeah,” Cat answers, straightening her shirt before rising. “She’s in bed with Zayn.”

“What?” Harry’s entire life flashes before his eyes. His chest tightens, and he’s confused more than ever. “You mean he’s not with Louis?”

She shrugs, looking just as confused and a little frightened, to be honest, probably from Harry’s behaviour. “He’s sleeping, I saw him – I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Harry gets off the couch, following Sabra down the hallway. She taps on the first door, and when she gets no response, she moves on to the next. This time there are footsteps followed by the door slowly cracking open.

“Sabra!” Tina exclaims, pulling her into a tug. She looks at Harry and smiles. “Harry, right?”

“Yep,” he responds.

“So good to see you again.”

Harry nods, trying to smile even though she looks like she hasn’t slept properly for days with the makeup smeared around her eyes. He maneuvers his head to see behind her for any sign of Zayn, except she’s covering his entire view. So he clears his throat and asks, “Is Zayn here?”

“Yeah.” She moves to the aside, making room for entrance. “Just be quiet, he’s still fast asleep.”

Zayn has always been a heavy sleeper. In fact, there have been a multitude of times where Harry has been able to complete the noisiest tasks (one of them including jacking off in the same room, and _no,_ we are not still talking about the other night in the tent because harry and Louis must have been exceedingly vocal to have woken him up) without having Zayn flip open an eyelid.

Harry sits on the edge of the bed, dropping his hand over Zayn’s shoulder resting over a pillow he’s snuggling. Harry gives him a slight shake, thinking that this isn’t the first time he’s had to wake him. He rolls his eyes with that mental note, thinking _what has become of my life._

“Zayn.”

Zayn rolls to his side, groaning and mumbling something unintelligible under his breath.

“Zayn!” Harry continues to shake him, his heart racing with the build-up of frustration. He’s just so, _so_ done. “I swear to God if you don’t wake up this instant, I’m going to throw your entire CD collection into the sewers. That’s right, you can wave goodbye to your precious Usher.”

Zayn rolls back to Harry, sitting up with his breath catching in his throat. His eyes snap open, and he seems to be lost on his surroundings. He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes meeting with Harry’s.

“You’d better be joking.”

Harry looks him straight in the eye. “I am completely, utterly, one-hundred-percent serious.”

Zayn senses the disbelief, so he opens his mouth and yawns, letting himself fall back into the sheets.

“Zayn.” Harry shoves his friend in an attempt to get his attention. Furious and desperate to seek some answers, he grunts as he pinches down on his arm.

“Harry, ouch! What the fu –”

Right as Harry pulls his hand away he notices a dark blotch of ink covering the inside of his forearm. He yanks the sheets over to reveal it completely, seeing what looks to be a microphone with a ink splash directly below. “What’s that?”

“What’s what?” Zayn turns to examine his arm, then smirks. “Oh! Yeah, I don’t really know. I think I might want to pursue a career in singing. It’s one of my many talents.”

“And you realise this is permanent, right?”

Zayn quickly nods, no sign of surprise on his face.

Harry’s shaking his head condescendingly, wondering when Zayn had lost his mind. “Where’s Louis?” he finally blurts out, running out of patience.

Zayn sighs, leaning his elbow against the pillow. “How the fuck should I know? I don’t keep tabs on his every move like you. Where’s Tina?”

“Having sex with Hudson.”

Zayn’s eyes nearly tear out of the sockets. “Hudson?”

Harry nods. “The bloke she found across the street. He was good looking, I have to say. He was just standing there, y’know checking her out, and he insisted she come home with him. He wanted to show her his marble collection and teach her how it feels to be with a real man, one with more exper – ow!”

Zayn pulls his arm back from punching him in the ribs. Harry rubs his chest in pain, trying to keep himself from swearing and attacking Zayn back.

“Why did you do that?”

“Because you’re an asshole.”

Harry rolls his eyes, still feeling the soreness on his abdomen. “Seriously, where is he?”

“I honestly have no clue.”

“I don’t believe you.” Harry crosses his arm with frustration. “When is the last time you saw him?”

Zayn seems to drift in his thoughts for a second until he takes a trek back to reality. “Last night. We went to this bar down the block, but Tina got wasted so we came back. As for Louis, I don’t know. That’s it.”

Harry’s heart thuds painfully in his chest as it all comes down on him. It all lies in the fact that Harry is quick to make assumptions without fully grasping a situation, and that might very well be the reason for his impulsiveness. All this time he’s been wallowing in the possibility that Louis has abandoned him without considering his safety. Harry is selfish. Very, very selfish. Not once has he properly thought through Louis’ whereabouts, instead jumping to conclusions and thinking that _he_ has it bad.

It’s funny how it works.

How perception varies from person to person. How one person can look at a light shade of blue and call it baby blue while another refers to the color as indigo. How one can drink coffee and find it pleasing while another claims it is simply an acquired taste. How one can listening to head-banging heavy metal and deem it real music while another calls it “an awkward music phase.” How one can blame teenage pregnancy on the generation while another finds it a horrendous mistake. How one can see every side to an argument while another only sees the option most favourable.

How there are always two sides to a story. And Harry has failed to see Louis’.

He inhales sharply. “Do you know… if he’s okay?”

Zayn shakes his head, blinking hard. “It’s way too early for this.”

“It’s nearly two in the afternoon.”

“Whatever.”

They sit in silence, staring at the four walls around them, and that’s really all they can do as Harry’s mind slowly unravels.

He chews on his nails as a stress reliever. It’s always been a bad habit of his. He bites them nervously as he pelts Zayn with never-ending questions.

“What if something happened to him?”

“What if he doesn’t come back?”

“What if he’s hurt?”

“What if he’s lying in the streets all alone?”

“What if someone kidnapped him?”

“What if he’s –” Harry can’t even finish that question. He just can’t. He doesn’t know what he’ll do with himself if Louis is gone.

Zayn is still sitting in place, looking as though he’s going to fall back asleep. Harry grits his teeth, moving to hover over him. “Do you even care?”

“Yes. Of course I do, Harry.” Zayn sighs. “I’m just tired, okay?”

“You’re just tired.” Harry huffs a breath of annoyance. “Okay, Zayn. _Okay._ ”

“Listen, he’s gonna be fine.”

Harry rubs his eyes, trying to fight away the tears threatening to gather. “How do you know that?”

“I just do. Louis is Louis. He _has_ to be okay. It just doesn’t work any other way.”

“Okay,” Harry accepts the fact, still unsure of whether Zayn is simply trying to get him to relax. He still has his doubts that Zayn doesn’t actually give a shit, and he can’t lie; it really hurts.

“Are they snogging?” Zayn’s mouth drops open, and he’s quick to throw the blankets off of his body.

“What?”

He stares at the door with longing in his eyes. “Sabra and Tina… I – I’ll be right back.” When he crawls out of bed, Harry is quick to turn around with disgust.

“I don’t want to see that, mate.” Harry rolls his eyes, listening to Zayn’s feet shuffle against the ground. He feels hands on his shoulder which only makes him more annoyed. “Get off me.”

“Relax, okay?” Zayn whispers in his ear, then leaves.

Harry drops his head into his hands, rolling his eyes at himself. Zayn is an idiot (that’s definite) but Harry is the bloody fool.

Feeling like he’s fucked up everything entirely, his eyes land on a phone and keys lying on the nightstand. He clenches his fists angrily at his confusion, taking more than a second for him to realise that these are Louis’ keys and that Louis is somewhere outside without his car. He shakes his head to Zayn’s carelessness, every inch of him, from his spine to his fingertips, descending into unjustifiable rage.

He lets it pass before centering his eyes on Zayn’s phone, the thought of his mum coming to mind. He remembers how his phone has been dead, starting to wonder for the first time the number of times his mum has tried to reach him. At this point she must be worried out of her mind.

Harry can only sigh, deciding he’s literally fucked everything up. He wants to feel remorse over tagging along with Zayn and Louis in the first place, but in the same sense, he also wouldn’t have it any other way. Along with Harry’s masochistic personality (a build-up of years of watching the goriest movies and TV shows for the sake that he doesn’t appreciate it when life is sugar-coated), there’s some comfort in knowing you have enough of a social life to be capable of making mistakes. It’s a pain Harry hasn’t felt in a long time, and it’s strangely reassuring. There’s that, and there’s also the fact that Harry’s just a fucking weirdo.

He takes the phone with trembling hands, as he works up the courage to dial the number permanently embedded into his mind. She picks up before the first ring can go off.

“Harry?”

He waits a second before responding, “Yeah, it’s me.”

He hears a loud sigh. “Thank God, I thought something terrible happened to you. You didn’t call me back for two days. Two days! You got me all worked up, why do you do this to me?”

“I’m sorry, Mum. I really am,” Harry says, feeling the weight of his emotions pound into the ground. He thinks that if he didn’t already feel like shit before, he feels it now.

“Where have you been? Why didn’t you call me?”

“My phone died.”

“Where are you? Is everything okay?” She sounds so frantic, so fragile, and Harry doesn’t know what to say to get her to calm down.

“I’m fine, I’m, erm – at a friend’s house.”

Silence fills the line. “You’ve been gone for nearly three days, Harry.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry grinds his teeth down on his bottom lip.

“When will you be back?”

Another slight delay. Harry shakes his head, wishing he had been more responsible. “I don’t know. Soon, I hope.” Although with Zayn’s carelessness and Louis’ absence, walking home might be the faster solution.

“Just… take care of yourself, okay? Can you at least promise me that?”

“Yes.”

His mum sighs, sounding a little more relieved as she speaks now. “You worry me sometimes, you know that? Who are you with? How’s Zayn?”

Harry forces a laugh, reminiscing all their past encounters and how life used to be worlds simpler. “Zayn’s, well… Zayn. And Louis…” He stops at the mention of his name, feeling the discomfort uprising again.

“Louis?”

“Yes, um. Just another friend.” That he’s had sexual encounters with more times than he can count, but he doesn’t need to tell her that.

“Are you having fun?”

“I’m great,” Harry says. He wants to slap himself in the face because that wasn’t what she had asked. There is no hope left for him. “I mean, yeah. Everything’s great.” If we’re speaking on apocalyptic terms, then, in retrospect, yes, everything is going just well.

“Okay, well, I have to pick up Robin at the airport, but just – call me sometime? To let me know you’re alive?”

Her sarcasm bites him in the arse, making him feel _even_ worse about everything, if that’s even possible now.

“I’ll try,” he says. After all, it isn’t wise of him to make a promise he can’t keep.

“I love you,” she says sternly, but wholeheartedly.

“Love you too.”

He leaves Zayn’s phone where he found it, sitting upright on the bed and wondering how exactly he reached the point of no return: disappointing his own mother. That’s all Harry was, right? A disappointment.

His thoughts stop short when he hears a crashing sound followed by gasps and shrieks. He’s up and out of the bedroom just in time to hear, “Oh, for God’s sake, Niall!”

Tousled light brown hair and calm cerulean blue are what catch Harry first, blood pounding in his cheeks, his breathing disheveled, and he’s seemed to have forgotten how to move.

He relaxes his arms, watching as the boy’s face slowly blanked out when he met Harry’s gaze. He gulps hard, wanting to pinch himself because he might be dreaming, except Louis is never depicted so vividly in his mind.

Harry manages to shake himself out of his dreary daze, or at least enough so to get his feet to move. “Hey,” he says, his voice tremulously shaky. He realises just then that he’s been staring for longer than several seconds without considering the obvious question: Is he okay?

Louis just stares at him, and the look on his face is hard to read, a jumbling of undetectable emotions. He’s not sure if he’s going to apologise for leaving him or explain _why_ he left, or if he’s going to stick to the simple cliché of pressing their lips together for forgiveness.

“Lou,” he says, clasping his hands together behind his back as he approaches him. He licks his lips nervously. And then he says about the dumbest thing possible. “So you’re back, huh?”

“It appears so,” Louis responds, sounding just as cautious with his words. They stare at each other, mixed messages exchanged nonverbally, causing Harry to grow more tense with each second that passed. “Have you seen Zayn?”

Harry’s heart drops instantly, and this becomes the epitome of his anger. The shitty feeling that had ceased to fade has only worsened, making him wonder if he’d even been furious in the first place, because this moment is hardly comparable.

“Zayn?”

Louis nods. “Yeah, it’s just – he left me last night. I just want to see if he’s alright – That’s okay, right?” There he goes again picking his words carefully.

“Yeah, of course. He’s uh, with Tina. They were sleeping, but I don’t know where they are now.”

“Okay,” Louis says, relief plastering his face. Harry doesn’t realise he’s frowning until Louis shoots him a sombre look, setting a hand over his shoulder like he knows exactly what Harry’s trying to say. “Hey, it’s fine, okay? I’m fine.”

Harry can feel his throat tighten in pain. “I was so worried. I didn’t know what to do – if you were, y’know.”

“Shh, shh.” Louis pulls him close, dropping his face in the nape of Harry’s neck. Tears slowly begin to fall. “I’m okay, you’re okay, everything is fine.”

“Okay,” is all Harry can manage, his face hot from the moisture on his cheeks.

“Let’s go somewhere private,” Louis says, and Harry immediately perks up, remembering that they aren’t the only ones in the room. “Niall, pick that up and please don’t cut yourself with the glass. We really can’t afford to call up the paramedics.”

Niall rolls his eyes and groans. “Can someone help?”

“Too much work,” Ceez says lazily, dropping his head against Paulo’s.

“You would help me if I was Paulo.”

Ceez smiles. “Maybe.”

Harry walks with Louis, strangely enough, into the same room he’d previously exited, the same room they chatted in last night. They’re still gripping onto each other, standing against the door with no words exchanged. Harry marvels in his existence, still in disbelief that he’s really here, that he came back.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Louis tells him with a warm smile which Harry can’t resist to return.

“You might as well be,” he says, not really sure if he’s making any sense.

Louis’ smile drops, and he’s pursing his lips with thinking. “I gave you quite the scare, didn’t I? I’m sorry.”

“Where were you?” Harry should sound angry, he really should.

“Nowhere really. It’s not important.”

“Louis.”

“I needed to get some air, and Zayn insisted we go out. You didn’t want to tag along, so we left anyway. It was probably an hour later that I completely lost sight of him. So I left,” Louis explains. “I was gonna come here, believe me, I was, but I decided you probably didn’t want to see me.”

“Wait, but –”

“I was a dick, Harry, and you know that.”

Harry drops his head in defeat.

“I needed time to think, so I had a long walk. I came back around three in the morning and you were snogging, what’s his face, Ceez? I figured you were high out of your mind, so I slept on the porch. I left about an hour ago to buy breakfast, which is sitting on the kitchen counter as we speak. We should really go too, it’s getting cold –”

“Yeah,” Harry cuts him off. “We should. I’m starving.”

“Hold on, I’m not finished,” Louis continues, putting two fingers over Harry’s lips.

Harry smirks against his digits. “ _Can’t this wait until later_?”

The brunet rolls his eyes, dropping his fingers and using his hand to press against the nape of Harry’s neck, gently leaving it there. “Harry.”

“Louis,” he says accordingly.

“I need to ask you something.”

Shivers trickle down Harry’s spine, his heart rapidly increasing. “I – Yeah, anything.”

“Will you run away with me?”

“What?” Harry blurts out without awareness of the words. He’s not really sure of what Louis is asking, but the question itself has his breathing ragged, his mind exploring the possibilities from the idea. “That’s oddly romantic coming from you.”

The side of his lip creeps up to form a smirk. He crosses his arm with a smug smile. “Take it or leave it.

Harry tilts his head. “Are you sure? I mean – I have a hundred and one things to do the second I come home, and this wouldn’t really be helping.” He observes Louis’ hand over his mouth, trying to hold back a fit of laughter. He rolls his eyes and smiles. It’s funny how his mood had shifted so quickly, but maybe Louis is to blame.“But fine. I suppose I can fit you in my busy schedule.”

“Oddly considerate of you, for a change.”

Harry’s smile only grows wider. “However, Zayn might not be open to the idea of us leaving him, though he does have good reason to stay. He’ll just have to deal with it.”

Louis nods with agreement, leaning against the doorframe. “I’ll give my dearest condolences.”

Back in the living room, their new friends (they _are_ allowed to refer to them as friends now, right?) are chattering and clapping and having all-around fun.

“What did we miss?” Harry asks Cat.

“Zayn was singing for us!” she chirps excitedly. She moves to the side, patting a hand to the empty seat.

Harry feels warmth by his side. “We’re actually just leaving.”

“Yeah,” Harry says with accordance to Louis.

“Wait, really?” Cat nearly jumps out of her seat, grasping her girlfriend’s attention. “You’re leaving, why?”

“Bigger and better things to do, no offense,” Louis says. “Someone has to show this boy the world.” He nudges Harry, and he smiles, leaning to Louis’ side.

They eat their breakfast, which, as Louis predicted, had gotten cold and had to be reheated. It takes about five minutes of banter and teasing for them to figure out how the microwave works and another ten minutes to finish eating.

They’re discussing events that went on during college while they laugh at the little details that both of them should have forgotten by now, such as that one day Louis showed up to class in those really tight capris, tight enough that you could see the outline of his dick, and Harry’s not afraid not to admit that he’d been affected by the sight. Louis even admits to having to have a quick wank in the bathrooms one time during class when Harry had been sitting too close to him.

They talk about similar aspects, music and theatre-related. Harry remembers attending a few musicals with his friends, whether it had been for class credit or simply for fun. While on the topic, Louis shares his stories behind the curtains, like a time when he gave a guy head right before his performance. Or that time he let a girl blow him in the dressing rooms. Or that time Louis left his Peter Pan costume at home and had to break about ten driving laws to get it.

Harry tells him about his days in White Eskimo and how he hasn’t spoken to any of the other members in a year. He feels he’s dragging on about the pure fun of it all, but Louis’ eyes are on him and he’s paying attention to every word he’s saying, and Harry can only smile as he continues to blab his mouth. He even admits to wishing the band was still together, and when he goes into a soliloquy of endlessly expressing the indescribable feeling of performing, Harry feels as though they’ve touched common ground.

It’s about half an hour later that Louis pulls himself off his chair, attempting to toss their leftovers in the trash, except Niall catches on, insisting, “Hey now, there’s no use in wasting perfectly good food!” and had taken matters to hand.

They try to leave the house wordlessly, but worst comes to worst when literally every member in the house waver to them, hugging them goodbye and insisting they hang out again someday.

“You’re leaving me?” Zayn exclaims, appalled.

“Sorry,” Harry says.

“I think you’ll be just fine without us.” Louis smirks.

Zayn crosses his arms, but ideally, he has Tina clinging to him. So he just smiles. “Yeah, okay. You two stay out of trouble, yeah?”

Harry’s first to respond. “We make no promises.” He feels Louis squeeze his shoulder, and trembles at the touch.

The second they’re out and about, Harry and Louis fight over the wheel until Harry decides that he’s going to drive since he hasn’t had the chance. That and Louis hasn’t properly slept.

Once they’re off, Louis is already pressing the back of his head to the windowpane, his eyes shut. The radio plays softly, and Harry smiles.

And to think that this is just the beginning. 


	5. The Days Beyond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry didn’t expect his graduation to end with a road trip, and he certainly didn’t expect to reunite with his old crush.

Harry has dated very few people in his life, not because he has any trouble with dating – or at least he's never reached that point where he's thought of it as a competition to somehow uplift his reputation (one thing Harry doesn't quite understand the reasoning behind) – but because of the baggage that comes with an individual. Dating isn't supposed to be a game; it's a way of building experiences and meeting new people with hopes of one day finding the one to call a significant lover. One might think this process isn't much, but that's easier said than done. With Harry's share of attachment issues and fair display of fear of commitment, you can say he has good reason to keep these things to himself. That is, until there is an exception. 

Harry's first real girlfriend was called Rose. Five foot three with long blonde hair and bright blue eyes (He's always had a thing for blue eyes, he thinks), she was the sheer definition of perfection to him. It was what is best described as a high school crush, from sneaked glances to woozy butterflies and raging hormones, and it wasn't long after several encounters that Harry grew the courage to ask her out. After a typical first date with the no-kissing rule intact, their relationship was off to a great start. They lasted around six months, having sex for the first time within the last two months. Maybe it was that the chemistry had faded or Rose had never been into him in the first place, but Harry was devastated. He will never forget the pain enveloping him when he watched her leave. 

He's had hookups following that, but he wasn't having sex with anybody, per se. He made out with tons of girls, sometimes all in one night, and sometimes when he was just a little past tipsy, he found himself crawling into the mouths of boys as well. It was all mostly his way of coping with his hurt emotions still stinging to this day. 

He discovered he liked boys while surfing the Internet, perhaps spending a minute too much on certain categories on porn websites. He spent weeks trapped in shadowy doubt until he grew to learn that he has to accept himself first or nobody else will. Accepting and slowly gaining confidence with his newfound sexuality, he began crushing on boys on the telly, in bands, on the streets, and even in his class. He isn't ashamed to admit that Louis was included on that list, not that any of these crushes were really boyfriend-worthy. Harry wasn't looking for relationships anyway. He couldn't take the risk of putting himself out for disappointment, and he refused to appear vulnerable to anyone. The second you let someone in, they will stop at nothing to destroy everything you have until you have nothing to call your own. 

Nonetheless, with these crushes, he came to realize they weren't any different than his girl crushes, maybe even better. It didn't long for him to officially explore the possibility of simply liking people regardless of gender, plain and simple, because fuck labels. 

For the majority of his life, Harry has felt he can comfortably refer to himself as an antisocial freak. Louis doesn't say anything to defend him, and Harry lets on. He goes in depth on how he feels misplaced and awkward in 98% of all social situations, and how no matter how hard he tries, he can never fixate himself on something or someone for long. Even back in White Eskimo, he was always trapped in uncertainty and felt he should be doing something else with his time. He's always felt he's wasting his life, but because of his lack of motivation to change anything about it, he's always been stuck and he always will be. 

He explains exactly how he feels, even falling into the worst of his thoughts, which basically entails how he's anything but smart and a worthless shit at times. He's also completely useless and hates himself a lot. 

The story gets boring, and Harry finds he doesn't have much else to say. He's half convinced he has only made a fool of himself by choosing to tell Louis these things when he had only elevated his problems in his head, simply choosing to make them a big deal. Now he feels ashamed that these are what he refers to as his deepest, darkest secrets, the stories he's never had the courage to share with anyone. Knowing Louis, he probably has a lot more to say about his life with a different set of expectations for the definition of a real problem. 

Harry latches the wheel tightly, feeling his knuckles go white. Sweat gathers in the palms of his hands, and wow. He's really nervous. 

"So there's that," he says, as if there's really nothing else he can say. He breathes a sigh of disappointment when Louis doesn't say anything. "I'm silently praying you're still thinking of something clever to say. Hopefully I haven't scared you off with all my whining." He isn't really afraid to speak now that Louis knows him well enough. Whether or not he's silently judging him at this very moment. 

"Don't get your hopes up, I'm awestruck." 

Harry keeps his eyes ahead, trying to decipher what exactly he'd said to intrigue Louis to the point where even he is having trouble formulating words. 

He taps his fingers nervously against the steering wheel. "I can assure you I'm far from interesting." 

"Don't put yourself down." Louis rises in his seat, a slight popping sound from his sudden reposition. "I'm actually just – wow. Surprised?" 

"Surprised," Harry murmurs like that makes no sense. 

"Harry," Louis says, turning off the radio completely, all signs of jokes and laughter gone. "You're wonderful. And you deserve to hear that more often." 

Harry just laughs. It's always been his way of handling flattery since he's always afraid of coming off either too arrogant or too modest. "Well, thanks. I suppose you're not terrible either."

"Harry," Louis speaks in a lower voice, much more serious, in a way as if he's rehearsed this before in his head. "You're not worthless. Or stupid. Or useless. Okay? Oh, and if you try to put yourself down while I'm talking, I might have to murder you. Do we have a deal?" 

Harry's face softens and he nods. 

"Fantastic. First of all, fuck Rose. Second, fuck me for being an asshole to you." When Harry opens his mouth to argue, Louis speaks up. "Nope, none of that. I'm talking."

Harry wants to argue again that he's not exactly putting himself down, but trying to defend Louis, but the silence is prolonging and Harry has a feeling Louis' got something important to say. 

"I've had my fair share of failed relationships, and let me tell you, it sucks, no matter which end you're at. I can't tell you how many times I've broken up with someone or pushed them away, and all for the most stupid reasons. And selfish, too." Louis sighs slowly like he's nervous, and it's somewhat assuring to know that even someone like Louis is afraid of talking about his feelings. "You see, I'm kind of – fuck that, _no_. I'm fucking terrified of being alone, almost as much as I'm terrified of giving myself to somebody else."

Harry sees the connection instantly, the rush in his chest blaring over his thoughts.

"So here's the stupid part, but I'm more than happy to explain it if you're still confused, even though not even I understand it.  I push people away so they can't get to me first," he says slowly, as if he's entirely sure of what he's saying. "It doesn't make sense, I know."

Harry, however, does sense some familiarity in his words. "No, I get it. Kind of. You just. You really don't trust people?"

"Yeah, I guess that's it. I mean, how do people do it? They let themselves to fall into this fantasy, fooling themselves into believing they'll have the perfect, happy ending, when they're really just setting themselves up for failure." 

"It's not always like that, you know." Harry bites hard on his lip, slightly insulted that Louis is saying these things to him. He thinks that if yesterday hadn't been his complete fallout, today is the long-awaited rejection. 

"I know. It's just – why take the risk if you already know what can happen?" 

"That's just it. You'll never know what you're missing unless you give it a chance. And whether or not it works out, it's definitely worth it." Harry doesn't understand half of what he's blabbing out, but he knows this. He's always been a romantic and a hopeless one at that, and if that's wrong, he doesn't want to be right.

"How are you so sure?" 

"You can cry over someone as much as you want and even regret meeting them in the first place, but really, it's not like that at all. You don't ever want to forget the one person that once understood you." 

Louis is silent while Harry contemplates why he's trying to persuade him to change his mind anyway. He's known from the start that what they have can't be more than a summer romance, and yet, he can't tell his heart no. 

"What if you never had that person?" 

Harry frowns. Didn't he just explain that? "Then you wouldn't have the experience, but there's no sense in thinking like that."

"Not exactly what I meant."

"Wait, I – What?" 

"I can see your point and all, Harry. You can't ever forget your love for someone, and all that. It's just. I've never, ugh." Louis huffs a breathy sigh. "I've never been in that situation. I've never had anyone feel that way toward me nor have I reciprocated the feelings." 

"That's not a bad thing," Harry assures him. 

"No, I guess not. I don't know what I'm saying, I don't even have a valid argument here. I complain about being alone and yet I hate everyone." 

"That's not your fault."

Louis shrugs. "I guess it can be. I mean, at least I'm not that stereotypical empathetic guy who claims that the world hates him when it's actually the opposite, so. I just don't understand what everyone has that I don't." 

Harry sees where this is going. "Louis." 

"I'm never good enough. I could never please my parents, I could never be their poster child. Not even the schools that accepted me could earn their respect. Nobody is good enough for me either, and saying that makes me sound like a complete arsehole, but it's just that nobody gets it, you know?" 

At this point Harry has pulled over to the edge of the road, his hands and eyes over the wheel, listening to every word Louis has to say. 

"Everybody always wants the same things or they want too much. I mean, I could take back what I said about people not liking me, but the truth in that is nobody has showed me the true definition of love, and simply declaring their love just never seemed enough. I wish I could understand how it feels to be in love, I wish I could more than anything." Louis' head concaves down, but he's also looking at Harry. "These past few days have been really fun and I've been able to get away from those thoughts, and then there's you… and I don't mean that in a bad way, but I get so confused around you. Like I'm always nervous and you make me feel really good, but it never adds up for me. It's like I've been watching you from afar for years, and now that I can talk to you and touch you so freely, it's so different and there's this thrill to it that I can't explain." 

Harry's breath catches in his throat. "I know exactly what you mean." 

"I guess – I don't know – what I'm trying to say is, you're great, Harry. You're incredible, and even though I've only really known you for three days, it feels like way longer than that." Harry smiles at that, relating once again. "I just hope I haven't fucked anything up because I really like how things are going so far, and even though being this honest to someone feels strange since I hardly say much, I'm still Louis Tomlinson and I'm still breathing oxygen like any normal human being after everything, and I think that's pretty damn impressive." 

Harry chuckles pathetically at that, feeling uncharacteristically endearing, far too emotional for the moment."You're good enough, you know. For me, at least." 

"Yeah?" 

"Honestly, Lou. You need to stop doubting yourself." 

"I could say the same about you."

"Fair enough," Harry decides. He relaxes his hands over his lap, tired. "Be nothing but honest with me from this point on, yeah?" 

Louis swipes his tongue across his lip, nodding. "That sounds like a fair bargain."

"Great. Now," Harry unbuckles his seatbelt, and for a second Louis looks hopeful, "I'm tired, so we should trade shifts." 

"Does this mean no congratulatory sex? It's not every day I talk about my feelings." 

Harry rolls his eyes, but smiles. "I'll sleep on it."  

Unlike what any normal human would do, they maneuver themselves over each other to switch seats in the vehicle, knocking over empty cans sitting in the cup holders. They laugh when the impossible task is complete, their limbs still tangled together. They snog, hands wandering underneath shirts and down trousers, working each other off quickly. They fall back promptly into their seats respectively, blissed out and ready for the day. 

"Our adventure begins on this very evening with Harry Styles extending his hand out of the window!" Louis exclaims in his announcer voice. "Will the window close in on him, or will his arm make it? Let's find out!" He reaches for the button and Harry screams. 

"Don't touch me, I'm sterile!" 

"That doesn't matter," Louis mutters, but he smiles at the odd SpongeBob reference. His hands wander to Harry sides, tickling him. 

"Stop – eyes on – the road!" Harry exclaims between spouts of laughter. "I'm going to sell your nudes on the Internet." 

"I'm going to sell your butt plugs to Zayn." 

Harry continues to laugh. "How did you know about those?" 

"Educated guess." 

Harry shakes his head. "Fuck you." He wants to add to that, possibly turn it into some deranged innuendo that only he would come up with, when the vehicle turns sharply to the right, knocking Harry to his side. “Jesus Christ, how did you even pass your driving exams!”

“Sexual favours,” Louis says in all but a serious, unfaltering expression.

Harry crosses his arms. “That explains why you’re shit at driving. I’m surprised we haven’t been pulled over yet, you little slut.”

“Hey now, let’s keep my sex life out of this.”

“But Lou, your sex life means everything to me,” Harry insists, dropping a hand over Louis’ thigh.

Louis smirks but does little to acknowledge him. “And the rest of the world, apparently, once you disclose the nonexistent pictures you have of me naked.”

Harry traces his thumb over his thigh. “And why on earth would I do that?”

The brunet laughs, shaking his hair out of his eyes.

“This is no laughing matter. This is a serious question.”

“That we know the answer to.” Louis wavers his attention to the signs outside. “We’re close to Cardiff, better get ready for some heavy-petting, if you feel me.”

Harry frowns, blinking hard. “I… What?”

Louis shrugs. “American slang, I guess. I have no clue what I’m saying.”

“Is that just a code word for sex?”

“Probably. Americans are all about sexual innuendos, some aren’t even funny.”

Harry clicks his tongue with disapproval. “Now, now. Let’s not judge. The poor sods probably can’t even comprehend Monty Python movies.”

“And they’re all obsessed with those rubbish shows, what are they called, Family Guy?”

“Something like that.”

Louis shakes his head. “Americans.”

It takes them a good hour to reach their destination, laughter and the most terrible jokes circling them, the absolute worst humour Harry has had the misfortune to be a part of. These jokes are so bad that – well, they're not nearly at the same extent as knock-knock jokes, but lame nonetheless – they have become hysterical after some point. Mostly Louis tells Harry about stupid, hilarious events in his life, and when Harry can't relate, he'll crack some overused phrase or pun and Louis will pretend to laugh. The subject falls back to the happenings in chemistry class and the mistakes they made in lab together, as well as the awkward tension that had been nothing other than a normal everyday occurrence. Harry admits he "totally had a boner" for Louis the majority of the time, and this flatters Louis, sending him off to a story about how he caught hot glue in his hair during art class.

They end up talking about anything and everything, from favourite foods and hobbies and TV shows to how often they masturbate and their kinks and how they show no reluctance to experience such fetishes together. This all brings a satisfied grin to Harry's face, all doubts of the two of them never forming a proper bond and only wanting each other for the promise of sex has faded away, long gone and leaving him with the utmost hope that maybe this could work.

The radio blares, and Harry can't remember any other time he's felt more alive. He's rocking in his seat and singing along to a song they both know, literally screaming the lyrics out the window for any oncoming cars to hear. They kiss every now and then, and Harry presses his lips together to a thin line to fully dive into the lingering taste of the chaste kisses, tasting nothing but sweet and pure Louis, feeling like the luckiest man in the world.

They're nearing the city now, and Harry's dropping his head over Louis' lap, his fingertips dancing over the rim of his stomach, pulling his fly open with his teeth. A hand in his hair and a voice calling out, "That's it, yeah," is enough to encourage him to continue. He takes Louis into his mouth and already hears a gasp right as his tongue traces across the boy's foreskin, softly grazing it over the tip and to the shaft, taking long, swift licks. He shortens his licks so he's just barely touching him, eliciting a low growl and a sharp tug on his hair, Louis probably desperate for some friction at this point, his hips bucking up as Harry bobs his head relentlessly, grasping what he can't fit in his left hand. He feels an aching pain in the crick of his back, positive his jeans are sliding down as he nears the edge of his seat. Despite the uncomfortable angle, he has everything set on pleasing Louis the best way possible.

"Fucking hell," Louis gasps, swallowing loudly with shakiness, urging Harry to move faster, his jaw beginning to tighten up. He felts a hand grip his hair, this time tracing his scalp lightly and pulling his curls just softly enough to send shivers down his spine. Harry wants to kiss Louis at this very second, passionate and forcefully without holding anything back, and the tightness in his trousers are saying he craves way more than a great snog, but Louis is driving and Harry's already too much of a distraction. So with that empty, unfulfilled thought, he centers all his energy on Louis' cock, aiming to make this the best head he's ever given.

He lets off with a loud pop, stroking him freely now with the help of the slick surface. “Gonna make you feel good,” he murmurs, his voice a little raw. _Yes_ ’s escape Louis as Harry works his dick, painfully slow. “Gonna make you feel so, _so_ good, Lou.”

“Shit,” is about all Louis can muster, his body shaking violently. Harry wraps his hand over the throbbing cock, enveloping the wet warmth that is gathering in his mouth. Struggling to swallow every bit of Louis, he draws his head up to see a man in the car beside them, looking as if they were possessed by demons and ready to sacrifice children.

Louis sticks his middle finger against the glass, and it seems the world is putting out for him today because right as he gets the man’s attention, the light goes green and they are off.

All Harry can do is laugh because there’s really nothing else he can say. That had been too entertaining for reality. Blowjobs at a stop light, road head in general, actually, seems like something that would only happen in movies, but Harry’s life? As if.

“Poor sod. Probably scarred for life,” Harry says, raking a hand through the gentle waves of his hair.

Louis shrugs. “Free porn.”

 

They stop at a hotel, small and inexpensive, but enough for the two of them. The second they’ve settled in, they’re both in the shower, cleaning the filth from their skins and making their time together worthwhile. Harry would wash Louis’ back thoroughly, and they would switch until they were both shining and pristine. Harry snaked his hands through Louis’ hair, blending shampoo across his scalp, with Louis’ mouth over him, sucking him off. At one point it got overheated and Harry’s hand slipped, causing some soap to slip into the other boy’s eyes, throwing him off of his game and making him curse and moan as he allowed water to pour over his face, Harry mumbling a series of apologies diligently.

Though they’re tired and would much rather relax with the comfort the hotel bed had to offer, they decide to head out to the nearest mall, their stomachs growling and their minds bored. They hold hands and ignore the wandering eyes, smiling together and silently agreeing that things have improved immensely after leaving Zayn behind. The mall is relatively large, with three floors of stores and a food court calling their names. Louis scampers to the stand of his choice, Harry rolling his eyes as he’s pulled along, begging Louis to choose a different place. They sort it out after a bit, Harry deciding to eat some Mexican entrée while Louis orders some exotic pasta.

When they’re seated and laughing at the many topics their conversations triggered, Louis checks his phone relentlessly and tells Harry that Zayn has been texting him nonstop since they left, mostly filling him in on his happenings. They learn that Tina is quite charming, and that Zayn is really into her. Harry silently hopes and prays she stays for a while, if she truly makes their friend this happy. They learn that Paulo and Ceez really can’t keep their hands off of each other, but that’s been already safely observed.

They wander around the shops, stopping at every other one, buying some souvenirs and unnecessary trinkets (with the generous donation of Zayn’s wallet that had been conveniently left in the glove box of the car), and walking out of the building with grins on their faces, thinking of how many zero’s Zayn will find on his credit card.

They drive around some more, stopping at random places, like grocery markets and electronic stores. They buy some food (Harry later realises they’re staying in Cardiff longer than planned), and when they’re in the Mac store and paying for an iPod plug-in, Harry questions Louis, who just replies with, “You need to charge your phone,” which is the first sign that they really are planning to stay here awhile.

Louis is caring. Louis is carefree. Louis is such a good fucking person.

That’s really all Harry can gather as they resume with the day’s activities and then head back to their room to cuddle together with some show’s reruns playing on the telly, and falling asleep right about the same time. With the long day they’ve had, Harry’s surprised they hadn’t crashed sooner, but he’s in fact so tired he doesn’t realise he’s passed out, creating unnecessary between the two, until the bed shakes as Louis perches next to him. Harry shifts his body around, taking the boy into his arms and portraying what most would refer to as “big spoon.”

Harry wakes to see no boy sleeping next to him, which worries him slightly. He sits up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and turning off the telly, still blaring from last night. Slipping out of his clothes, he scurries to the shower to see that it’s already going. Smiling with fondness and something that felt like relief, he steps inside, hugging the tan boy from behind.

“Mm, good morning,” Louis greets him with a kiss, which Harry eagerly returns.  

“What are we doing today?”

Louis bends over to retrieve a hairbrush, nearly toppling over. Luckily, and kind of expectedly, Harry catches him before he can, wrapping his torso protectively.

“First, let’s shower,” Louis tells him. “Then I’ll fuck you. Okay?”

Harry gulps, taking in how beautiful the boy looks with wet hair, or simply the way he looked right now. Absolutely alluring. “Okay.”

The second they’re out and about, Harry is thrown into the bed, Louis smiling as he sits in between his legs. They kiss, Harry’s shirt ripped away from him. Louis sinks his teeth into Harry’s hipbones, smirking as he looks up at him. “You’re amazing, you know that, right?”

And when Harry comes half an hour later, he gasps out between moans, “Are you sure you’re not Jesus?”

Time went by, days blurring together, not that every day wasn't an adventure in itself. Each day has been spent roaming around the city, their activities revolving around the simplest of pleasures like going shopping and playing sports with teenagers at the park to going to clubs and partying as if it’s the most exciting time of their lives.  

Harry learned he loves being around Louis more than anything, and he’s sure the feeling is mutual because the day they’re forced to say goodbye, they’re both hesitant to leave each other.

Louis’ car is parked outside of Harry’s house; they’ve stopped by for dinner at his place, and Louis has had the honour of meeting Mrs. Styles and enjoying their first home-cooked meal in weeks. Harry’s mum is a bit on edge from his disappearance (not that Harry had forgotten to call her every now and then), but she’s also ecstatic about Louis, and it’s evident she’s fond of the boy just as much as Harry.

But now they’re standing outside, wishing they didn’t have to separate in their respective ways. Harry’s hands are bundled together behind his back, Louis’ inside his pockets, the two of them shifting their bodies awkwardly as they waver their eyes from the ground and back at each other.

“I’ll see you around, yeah?” Harry finally says, looking up at the blue orbs he’s learned to trust over the past few weeks.

“Yeah.” Louis nods. “Definitely.”

“Call me when you get home?”

He smiles, moving closer to him. “I’ll call the second I leave the neighbourhood.”

Harry smirks. “You don’t think that’s a little clingy, do you?”

“Call it an _obsession_ ,” Louis responds with a smirk, his face then dropping back into complete seriousness. “But really, I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

“I’ll miss you,” Harry admits, his heart feeling heavy.

Louis grabs his hands, holding them tightly. “I know. I will too. Never hesitate to call if you get too lonely.”

Harry halfway smiles. “Thanks.”

Louis pulls him into a hug, one they both put complete effort into, and Harry’s heart is racing the second he pulls away, a heavy weight dropping on his shoulders. This boy has been a part of his life for awhile now, and it’s hard to imagine doing anything without him now. But he’ll have to deal with it, he supposes.

“See you,” Louis says, starting to head down the driveway and back to his car.

Harry stands still, watching him leave, and then it hits him. It hits him faster than anything. The curly-haired lad races to Louis, presses the boy against his car, and kisses him full-on on the mouth until they’re both panting and breathless. Harry’s thumb traces Louis’ chin, losing himself in those piercing blue eyes, wondering how the hell he’s going to live without seeing them every day.

Louis laughs, but continues to stare back intensely. “I really have to go, Harry.”

“I don’t want you to.”

“I know.” Louis wraps his hands over the larger boy’s waist, bringing their bodies closer so that their hips are touching freely. “We’ll see each other soon, I promise.”

“Okay.” Harry nods his head, though it takes him at least another minute to pull himself away. “Bye, Louis.”

“Bye, Harry.”

Harry didn’t realise how soon is soon, but he has a feeling it’s bound to happen the second he walks into the campus of University College London. His feet are slick against the pristine floor, and he’s got a map of the place in his hands, still confused about everything.

He squints his eyes to look closely at the piece of paper, and when he looks up, his eyes set on a boy with waves in his hair, an undeniable fringe, with a curvy arse to match, and his heart stands still.

Slowly but surely, Harry approaches him, hoping he hasn’t mistaken his looks for the wrong person. He taps his shoulder, and the boy turns around. Harry smiles instantly.

“Do I know you?” The boy asks, pursing his lips and smirking.

Harry crosses his arms and smiles. “I do believe we’ve met.”

“Why, yes. Harry, right?”

Harry shoves him aside playfully. “Yes, you twat. What shall I call you?”

“Louis,” he pretends to shake his hand. “But for you, Lou.”

Harry nods approvingly. “Pleasure to meet you, Louis.”

“How funny for you to show up here. I’d say that’s quite the coincidence, Styles.”

Harry inches closer, his smile widening with every second that passed. He leans over to whisper in Louis’ ear, making sure he’s the only one who heard.

“What was that?” Louis steps one foot forward so that they’re close enough for Harry to lick the side of his face.

Harry repeats himself, breathing tremulously as the words escape his mouth.

“It’s fate.”

This moment is probably what one would refer to as the perfect ending, with enough unsaid information to leave the reader wandering, but that’s not how this story ends. Not every story has to have the perfect cliché; reality isn’t a fairytale.

Louis stares at him for a second with the utmost seriousness, then rolls his eyes and shoves his chest. “That’s far too deep, mate. We both live here, this was bound to happen.”

“But you’re surprised, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

Harry nods, seeing Louis’ eyes twinkle as Harry’s arm wrap over his slim figure. He holds a hand out at the stairs in front of them.

“First day of the rest of our lives,” Harry speaks dramatically, glancing back at Louis every few seconds. “Are you ready?”

“I was born ready.”

“Harry, is that you?”

The boy immediately turns around, nearing dropping his things when he sees the figure standing right before them. His jaw practically drops as he’s quick to hug him.

“What are you doing here?” Harry asks, muffled by the strength of the group hug.

“I could ask you the same,” Zayn responds, finally pulling out of the huddle. “This is… this is really something.”

“We couldn’t have planned this. This is… weird.”

“I approve,” Louis says hastily, nodding.

Zayn shakes his head. “I swear to God, if we’re roommates, I’ll have to question everything I’ve ever known.”

Harry and Louis laugh, dragging the black-haired boy by the arm as they merrily march up the stairs to find their dorms, ready to explore what the future had set out for them.

Harry silently hopes it involves Louis.

And maybe it would all work out.

Maybe it already has.


End file.
